Respectable Book-Worming Club (and some updates)

Amsterdam, December 13th, 2009.

Welcome to the Book-Worming club. We are here to bitch about life and discussing short story.

A short introduction to the committee (alphabetically ordered),
Ms. Elvin Priyadi (geek by day, cook by night)
Ms. Laurentia Dhanio (temporary housewife)
Mrs. Ulma Nurriva Haryanto-Putera (high-flying journalist-slash-wife)

With today’s short story: Grace Paley’s A Man Told Me the Story of His Life. A very short story, as Mrs. Ulma pointed out. Counting around 300 words, I have to agree with her (:p). The theme centers on talents and wishes. With a message of, as Ms.Laurentia pointed out, “talents will never be wasted”.

At the first glance, it seems like the division of a beginning, climax and resolution in Grace Paley’s story is clearly defined (although got me confused in the climax part)
As we are reading and discussing it, we suddenly see there is a connecting string at the end to the beginning of the story. A loop.

mmm. interesting, in’it?

But what is more interesting, is what you can find in the committee bags :D Take Mrs. Ulma, she has 3 cellphones. Three, people. Why? One for the messenger, one for making phone calls, and one for sms-ing. Ms. Laurentia, in the other hand, has one of those rare moments to have a tissue in her bag.

And me? I have toilet paper in my bag (long story)

Thus, The Respectable Book-Worming Club bid you all farewell for now. We will be back with a new short story.

temporary archiver,


P.S. Book-Worming Club, the name is temporary. The committee shall discuss the official name during next meeting (including the weekly meeting thing :p)

from elvnprya

Now.. I just realized she wrote my name with a 'Mrs.' .. my my, i'm a married woman..
As 2009 is drawing to a close, and i'm enjoying the 1st day as a lazy bum since after being employed, elvin had this idea to start a well.. not really a book club, but rather, a short-story club.. we busy women have no time for reading books lately xD
well it's an exercise.. so we start with short stories

today will mark my 2nd month of working at the jakarta globe. i have to say.. it's tough :p
there were times that i hv to write 3 stories a day... there were times that i've got nothing to write, read most of new items on my google reader feed, and it's 6 p.m.

the working schedule is quite un-ordinary. sometimes i hv to work on sundays, sometimes i hv another day off on one of the work days.. so i hv to leave iko at home on sundays.. and vice versa.. well i used to come to my old office, still got some work left there. but a couple of weeks ago i stopped going there cause it costed time+money to travel :p plus it's hot out there.. so i just stayed at home n do my thing..

annd there's also the matter of writing journalism technique that I, as a communication management student with NGO background have to work more on -_-

anyways, the job certainly has its perks. The goody-bags, the freebies :D the free buffet.. I went to places, I met people.. people that I usually only see on TV.. some whom I had never thought I would even speak to.. bearing the title 'news reporter/journalist' gave me the privilege to ask about anything to anyone, to those who respect that right anyway.. but this also comes with me the responsibility of having whatever I write to be the subject of people's opinion.. plus the newspaper's credibility is also on my shoulder..

hum. anyways.

looking forward to spend the long weekend with family. ah ya i'm off from wed-sun :p myb gonna write one / two more posts during the weekend.. maybe......

ta-ta for now. xoxo.

No Change for Change

I wrote this as an assignment for the jakarta globe when i first applied there.. Had wanted to post this sooner but alas, i'm too busy :P Pics will come soon..
Sanggar Anak Akar is a children's foundation for alternative education. It started as children's rights advocacy group that also provides shelter and alternative education for street children. Alternative here means that they focus more on informal education and skills such as art, music, and dance. The foundation holds regular performances, if you live around Jakarta and/or would like to visit the school and see the children practice, their address is at:
Jl. Inspeksi Saluran Jatiluhur No. 30, RT 07/RW 01 Cipinang Melayu RT 07/RW 01 Kalimalang - Jakarta Timur 13620
During my visit they were practicing for a performance in Goethe, it was just amazing to see the children perform.
KKS Melati is a volunteer group that provides open library for, especially, street children. They provide books as well in a number of children shelter across Jakarta, and circulate amongst them every couple of months. So if you have too much books on your shelf, or need to get rid of those from your childhood, you can visit their "central" library and i'm sure there are lots of children who will love to read them. KKS Melati's address:
Jl. Ampera II No. 17A RT 005/009
Jakarta Selatan 12550

No Change for Change

Having to face something everyday might create apathy, taking it for granted. Jakarta’s street children is one of the phenomenon that is slowly, and unrightfully slips away from the society’s concern. But is the condition all too hopeless to expect for any change? Does giving out small change to buskers can help change their condition?

Tika (16) and Yuni (15) are regular buskers at the Kampung Melayu bus terminal. Together with their younger siblings and other kids they would sing along the rhythmic clappings of their hands or the strums of their small guitar. Tika refused to state how much money she got from busking but according to ojek drivers on that area child buskers could get as much as Rp 90,000 a day.

When one asked why they are busking on the streets instead of going to school, most of their answers were surprisingly because they liked it there. Except for Irma (7) who had to be there since her mother had been ill and her father had ran off with another woman. Tika admitted that she never wanted to go to school. None of her four siblings went as far as having basic formal education. Parents like Tika’s might not be abusive, but it’s their way of thinking that entrapped their children. It is better to have their children close-by or at a neighborhood they are familiar with, than at some alien institution. Not to forget that it is also cheaper and it brings in extra money. To the children, both formal and informal institution means restriction to their freedom. Ijul (30), one of the inhabitants of Yayasan Anak Akar (“Akar” Foundation for Children), to be free was everything that he wanted when he was young.

So Tika and her friends chose to stay on the street, and the bus terminal is their second home and their playground. Take a closer look and you could see their happy faces between the bustles of people and Metromini daredevils. They might try to look sad so that you gave them money, but sometimes you can actually tell that it’s just make-pretend. Such an irony, but they are having fun.

4km south-east of Kampung Melayu is the Yayasan Anak Akar, a compound in East Jakarta with a spacious gazebo for an open classroom, or theatre, dance, and music workshop. It started as a foundation for the advocacy of street children’s rights 15 years ago before focusing more on the practical and hands-on actions as educators of children. Today it is what 40 ex-street children called home.

The compound is a living and learning area for street children who used to live as far as Tanjung Priuk (Northern Jakarta, 20km away). Hatta (15) ran away from home with a friend when he was only 10 years old. Susilo Adinegoro (44) aka pakde (uncle) aka the rector, an ex-journalist and one of the founder of The Foundation stated that these children [who came to the house on their own initiatives] are indeed very special. They are the rare ones who consciously stepped out of the vicious poverty circle in search of a better way of living. Susilo himself saw Yayasan Akar “graduates” become professional musicians, employees, and teachers/tutors/instructors.

Further down in southern Jakarta in the Ampera area is the community-rooted Kelompok Kerja Sosial Melati (“Melati” Community of Humanitarian Worker). Since its initiation in 2001, KKS-Melati consists of volunteers of all ages working towards a better Jakarta. Targeting at under-privileged youth around the neighborhood, KKS Melati provides mini library and an afterschool learning group where children are being taught creative writing, drawing, handcrafts and by request, school subjects such as math and English. The community is also responsible for the facilitation of books and stationeries of 15 children shelters across Jakarta.

Yayasan Anak Akar and KKS Melati are both supported by a strong network of people and volunteers contributing their time, skill and knowledge. Their years of work brought positive reaction from local communities and parents that, in the long run, share their vision that children have the right for protection and education.

The life in Jakarta’s streets is mean and harsh but it is not possible to foresee a better ending for these children. Foundations such as Yayasan Anak Akar and SAJA (Sekolah Anak Jalanan or the School for Street Children) are trying to find alternative ways to educate and empower children, and grass-root communities such as KKS Melati consorts people to co-create sustainable learning environment for disadvantaged children. Governments and their official bodies may be facilitators and enforcers of law, but communities and individuals are the real initiators of change. Active participation from the society is needed, and giving out small change to child buskers does not change anything.

hiatus.. schmiatus...

wow.. this has been a long hiatus :p
and it has not end yet xD
still can not make the time to sit and blog
but i updated my twitter quite regularly :p
and my facebook...
twitter being the most often.
gonna do another blog make-over after this..

until then.. ciao ciao ;)

so you want to be a gypsy?

sometimes i thought that i want too little out of life, or too general, not specific: happiness in this world and of course the hereafter. I tried to make it more specific, did self-searching, focus more on myself.. did things that make me happy.. it didnt work. i turned out to be super-selfish.
so i concluded that maybe i can never be like those people with high dreams and aspirations, have specific objectives and goals, what to pursue in their life. well, i know i could if i want to, but all these times i found out that i cant really focus on myself :p people told me that you have to know what you want in this life. what if im just one of those ppl who dont want a lot of things..or am i the only one? :P Like.. why go to Holland? honestly the only thing that passed my mind was 'the adventure' :p
why work in NGO? coz its adventurous, you never knew when you get the money, and you can travel.. plus you get to help other ppl, and even got paid!
of course i like money, all the nice things you could buy with it. and i like working, do/create stuffs.. so i can never see myself as an investor who just put money somewhere and let it grow (yet) xp and definitely, i dont want to be a burden to anyone. i dont know, im 24 so myb its already to late to change my mind-set.
i know i did a lot of bad/irresponsible things in the past. some of them came out of arrogance when i got too comfortable with my life. so maybe i am not allowed to be too comfy coz then i'd forget about othr ppl.. and Him.
myb ppl will say 'you wont say the same thing when ure rich&successful'. umm yea.. im still doubting if i will ever reach that stage...
i dont know.. myb i had a too happy childhood xD no worries and carefree..
or myb its the weather..
oh living up to parents' expectations? my parents are pretty laid-back.. the kind of parents who'd love you just the way you are..
so tell me, should i be worried? xD

--an extended version of my text msg to DaD

days so long, when you're young

i can really listen to Harriet Wheeler's sweet voice any time of the day <3
Town lights shining,
this is the place for me now.
Blurred - loving every word.
This hill, yourself, and I.
(The Sundays - Gone)

Before I really forgot to mention it here..

Please enjoy Found songs:
Erla's Waltz | Raein | Romance | Allt var hljott | Lost Song | Faun | Ljosid

Thanks so much, the shelf.

‘Found Songs’

Day I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII

this is what a friend told me when i told him about my 'problems':
11:43:29 AM:
whoa.... you should go home and get married
tsk.. tsk.. tsk..

Portishead - Glory Box

I'm so tired, of playing
Playing with this bow and arrow
Gonna give my heart away
Leave it to the other girls to play
For I've been a temptress too long..

7 pounds.
a movie that left me feeling
extremely empty
extremely hollow
i swear i could somehow feel how ben thomas might feel.
will smith really notched up his acting skills.
that sad wry face of his..
reminds me of another actor
but dont remember who -_-
aargh. made me want to curl up inside my blanket,
and listen to jimi goodwin's mournful voice..

and you will mock me for being overtly dramatic


i posted a reply on a facebook status this morning.. its really silly.. :p something i did when i just woke up, a bit dazed, n found a rhyming competition.. (ok it wasnt but felt like that to me.. lol)
Ulma Nurriva Haryanto op 16 mei om 9:01
sparrow and crow
both dont know
sticky marshmallow will clamp their maw
they fly too low
became too slow
poor bird can't eat no more
no shallow thats too narrow
nothing hollow to follow
for them there's no tomorrow
birds should not eat marshmallow
but how could they know
nature's stone's throw
when their fore
slashed open by the king's arrow

morale: the king likes to shoot birds when he has nothing to do. if you're a bird dont eat marshmallow.
and the previous lines goes like this (othr names r hidden to protect their privacy :p)
I: am i too shallow to swallow?

Gisteren om 3:41
Ulma Nurriva Haryanto op 15 mei om 11:39
only when you follow the hollow..
D: om 1:48 op 16 mei via Facebook Mobile
maybe u need marshmallow

lick them, chew it slow

but don't just swallow

so you'll forget all the sorrow

n see a better light tomorrow

that the world is not that narrow

(from a friend's note)
I om 3:38 op 16 mei via Facebook Mobile
would she be a sparrow or another crow?
That i don't know
yeah.. its full of sticky stuff, swallowing, chewing n licking...n dead birds o_O
(re-post from elvin's).
An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice,

“Let me tell you a story.I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.”

He continued,

“It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the
right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger,for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked,

“Which one wins, Grandfather?”

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, “The one I feed.”

well for me it doesnt have to be anger and hate.. its also for all the bad things in you.

i guess everybody's gotta learn sometime..

..yuu gottaheff ayyee..

nyahaha im sad.
every time i tried to lift up the mood.
be happy, make it easier for myself
things will go wrong.
its my fault, i know..
things look okay, n then not, n then its ok again,
n then i said something n then

n the anxiety attack:
heart beating faster, breathing gets harder,
chest hurting, head almost explodes.
n i wonder if im strong enough
its going to be a long month.
i wonder if im gonna survive :p
either these anxiety attacks will kill me first, or just me..
i can also throw it away, like i used to

perseverance is hard.
for the meantime just try to communicate happy positive stuffs.

Ulm's Vegetarian Strogatelle

when i do something n its fun, i dont want to get too serious about it. (lately just realised that its not a good idea to apply it on a relationship). one of those things that i considered as 'fun' is cooking. for me cooking is leisure, apart from doing it to fulfil basic necessity of feeding. im still learning, try out recipes as much as i can..

so today i made a "Vegetarian Strogatelle" (click for original recipe). The original name was Beef Strogataki, it's spposed to be a cross-breed of beef stroganoff and shirataki fettucine noodles the recipe called for. N mine's vegegetarian strogatelle coz i modified the beef to vegetarian meatballs, n used tagliatelle instead of fettuccine :p its simple n easy.. nyahaha.. wntd to try it out coz i nvr used the gravy mix+yoghurt+cheese wedges combination bfore..

250 gr of vegetarian meatballs
400 gr of tagliatelle
1.5 cup sliced mushrooms
1 cup thinly sliced onion
2 wedges The Laughing Cow Swiss cheese, room temperature (also yummy as snacks ^^)
2 tsp. dry au jus gravy mix (vlees jus)
2 tsp. plain yogurt
salt and black pepper, to taste
olive oil

Cook tagliatelle. Here's how my uncle taught me do it: mix salt, (olive) oil when boiling the pasta. normally they take 6 mins. to cook (check the packaging), make sure u stir 'em occasionally, check the texture, cooked pasta should be all tender n smooth (u can taste it if u want). n then drain the water, splash shortly with cold running water. Set aside.

Pour some olive oil on a pan to medium-high heat on the stove. Cook meat in the pan until fully cooked. Set aside.

Combine gravy mix with 1 cup water and stir until dissolved. Carefully pour mixture into the pan (over medium-high heat on the stove). Add mushrooms and onion, and cook until veggies are tender and sauce has thickened, about 7 - 10 minutes.

Add cheese wedge and stir until melted. Add yogurt and stir well, until sauce appears uniform and ingredients are thoroughly combined.

Add noodles and meatballs to the pan, and mix until completely coated. Season to taste with salt and pepper, and eat up!


other stuffs that i like to do:
going to the beach! (thanks elvin for the trip to the edge of the world :p)
lie there under the big blue blue sky, the warmth of the sun, the smell of seawater, the rush of waves.. perfect <3
exploring! go jungle trekking n stuff.
doodle :3
and one day i want to go canoeing again!

..need to take that bus,
Goodbyes aren't all that good..
(The Radio Dept. - Bus)

more rawdy

A mad driver driving the car of the future

An imaginary Ford Focus
changing blog theme.. (and title =p)
bye bye <:3)~* di sini ada tikus.. we had great fun =']

...harusnya sebelum diganti screenshot dulu tadi ya... -_- bodoh

(Thank you, google..)

rehab day 3 or where am i?

i usually dont really care about what other ppl say/think.. dont care about 'credibility'.. following my own weird drumbeats.. but lately what ive done was messing with my own life and other ppl's..
myb locking myself away from the society is better xp
i guess im gonna stick with this 'lifestyle' for awhile..

meh.. okay okay.. not locking myself away.. that's too dramatized...

rehab day 2 or sticky chicken day

ze ingrédients:
chicken (obviously)
honey (or any other substance to make it sticky.. but prefrably honey..)
soy sauce
olive oil
(sherry) vinegar
a head of garlic (or yours.. doesnt matter, but it gotta be sliced)

ze opération
heat oil, chop chicken to pieces, fry until chicken changes colour.
sprinkle in pepper, 1-2 tbsp soy sauce, vinegar, n 3-4 tbsp oil
slice lemon, spread evenly on top of chicken.. wait 4-5 minutes
add garlic, some water, cook some more until chicken gets brownish/caramel colour
add 3 tbsp honey then sprinkle in the thyme
chop parsley, sprinkle over chicken..
stir em a bit..
and done :D

via mr. Kunto via youtube

and now for the less happy note..

i hate you.. for no reason
cause actually i hate myself..
maybe i hate you for making me hate myself..
but in the end i just hate myself more for hating you for making me hate myself..
i hate this world -_-

btw, reached sura 9. At-Taubah (Repentance) or Al Bara'ah (Ultimatum).. I dont know why one prefer one name than the other.. It's the only sura in Koran that does not start with Basmallah. RK convinced that it's related to the mathematical pattern of Koran that makes it safe from tampering. ...and, he concluded that this Sura ends at verse 127. The last two verses, verse 128 and 129 are.. fake.

rehab day 1

after.. the whole post-break up mess thing. (includes: asked mr. ex to come back, sent frantic emails, texts to him, his mum, my parents, bugging my bestfriends for hours.. bitching complaining.. whining.. *sigh the whole roller-coaster of "i want him back" "no i dont" "i miss him" "im just gonna torture that poor guy")

lemme see its been.. 10 days? i kept a "manual" journal. means its not digital.. old fashioned pen and paper-diary =D

i promised myself (well also encouraged by mr. ex) to.. fix my life. be stronger. the whole package. and since i dont really have anything to do =p no need to go outside or socialize or have any activity like any normal ppl do xp basically sentencing myself to the lifestyle of a hermit =p (Uhm wait.. i hv always been... kinda.. sorta......)

so i decided to go back to God. Challenge myself kind of thing. I just passed one day of doing the 5 contact prayers.. it's TOUGH. i havent done it for a long time. and i didnt want it to be just prayers, i wanted it to be where i really concentrated on the dua's that i cited,their meanings, tasbih afterwards, read verses from the Koran and their meaning, think about it,use it in my closing dua, and end the "ritual" with a 'gratitude sujud'. afterwards i checkd the indonesian translation with the one from rashad kalifa (there are a lot of controversies on him, but i like his works.. and my Dad likes him, so.. =p but umm yea i know i shouldnt follow him 'blindly'. but this is by far what i got.).. i mean those indonesian translation sometimes sounds confusing. No wonder ppl lost interest in reading them and concentrate more on tajwid and how to make beautiful noises out of it. Dad installed RK's 'Quran- The Final Testament' (he got it from a friend of his.. there r some programmes available here, but none of them is what i have) when he was here and its really handy. Complete with footnotes and appendices.

And try to.. let's say.. be "pure" again. Like, try to completely surrender my soul to God. Which actually requires me to trust my own "soul" and believe in it. And its hard. Im used to being sceptic and not believing. especially towards myself.

and so.. i decided to "rehab" myself.. for at least 3 days xD well, i want to see if i can go through the 3 days and continue it.. for a week... i mean.. its hard.. i think.. especially umm if im done 'rehab'-ing, and want to live 'righteous'ly, understand Koran and try to apply it in daily life.. geez.. i dunno when that day would come or will i even reach that stage. this has only been one day, 5 prayers, and 104 verses.. it's already felt heavy =p especially when u read those verses and realised ure not living your life the way you're spposed to be. *sigh and yea, a lot to remember.. a lot of things need to be applied..

The real test is the "world out there". For example, "When the devil whispers to you any whisper, seek refuge in God; He is Hearer, Omniscient. Those who are righteous, whenever the devil approaches them with an idea, they remember (God), whereupon they become seers" (Indonesian translation version: they can see that its the devil) - The Purgatory/Al A'Raaf 200-201.

Seems pretty simple but .. u bet know that its hard xD u cant always.. remember. even if i stay at home, i still have this urge to b*tch n moan.. and when i go outside.. i meet people.. see stuffs.. and people here dont care about God.. and they're fine.. of course the Koran said they wouldnt be fine in the Hereafter, but they dont even believe in the Hereafter. They're enjoying the moment! Whats not a bigger temptation than that? =p

And I just finished the 8th Sura 'Spoils of War' (Al Anfaal).. it really got interesting stuffs. And and i think moslems should read their Koran everyday, not only citing madly to those arabic letters, but also its meanings. Also I know in Indonesia, people are a bit discouraged from learning the Koran cause they have to learn to read this whole new language with its weird symbols and rules... My dad was one of them =p but thank God he awesomely overcame it and after that he always showered us with the beauty and wonder of our religion (love you, Dad)..

when i was a kid i was pretty proud of myself who could do all 5 prayers in a day (still remember that Dad only obliged me to do the Subuh and the Maghrib ones), read the Koran,... and i thought my life would be fine.. but NOOOOOO.. its not that easy... =p And i know, here, its hard to do all 5 prayers (my excuse at least). . I skipped once or twice and then decided to 'go easy' on myself and ended up never really doing it =p and i started to do other, many unrighteous things as well.. (pls dont ask about it =p)

umm yea.. so we'll see.. am i gonna disappoint myself as usual.. or .. not.. uhm 2 days to go.. haha..

And let me close the post with this:
Thus, you should not grieve over anything you miss, nor be proud of anything He has bestowed upon you. God does not love those who are boastful, proud. (Iron/Al-Hadeed:57)
Ahum.. God bless you all =]

all hail everything shiny..!

From my little sister's blog
My brother Rawdy has turned his own room into a (pretend) country named "Metal Man" -,- Yeah, I know, it doesn't make any sense at all and it sounds silly, but it's true!

A few days ago, he made ID cards for me, my mom, my older sister and even my maid, so we can enter "Negara Metal Man" by showing that ID card (that was made from paper with crayon writings on it).
After he made ID cards, he started to make some rules to enter "Negara Metal Man", and then he sticked it on the wall..

And he made a flag too! xD


i mean, look at her.. we both got the bangs xD envy her wavy hair tho.. how come she has it? can i already pass as her classmate?

me n my sister have 7 years difference

i'll give myself a one-liner

"Passive-aggressive bullsh*t..."

Someday I will walk away and say
You disappoint me
Maybe you're better off this way
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn against me?

(A Perfect Circle-Passive)

u know ure getting old, when...

  • u like the songs that u disliked 10 years ago, coz u thought it was "too old" or "too serious" or "boring". i found out that i now like bands such as mr. big and better than ezra.. 10 years ago i was more into backstreet boys and spice girls =p
  • u looked at the stuffs u wrote/done in the past and realised that u miss being that youthful person.. =p
  • and last but not least, u tried to look 10 years younger

  • something old

    i wrote this stuff 4 years ago xD
    when things were a lot easier..
    neah not really..
    was one of my toughest periods but luckily i got a good friend to cheer me up and talk about stupid stuffs with xD
    more can be found here

    A letter for Aurelvin

    dear aurelvin,

    akhir2 ini ibu tiri dan saudara2ku sering sekali memberi tugas macam2.. dari yang mencuci tisu, sampai menyemir sepatu hitam dgn semir warna putih dan menyemir sepatu putih dgn semir hitam..

    mungkin habis ini mereka juga bakal nyuruh saya motong rumput pake gunting kuku sambil pake penutup mata :'(

    jadi maaf saya ga bisa sering2 kontak kmu. What can i do is to write you something every time i'm going to bed, and give it to my beloved favorite pet house mice, Ratso.. oh hari ini Ratso dan teman2nya baik sekali, kamu tau ga klo kemaren ayah mengirimkan satu paket graham crackers.. dan tentu saja semuanya diambil oleh ibu dan kakak2, tanpa menyisakan satu pun untukku (graham crackers di kala itu sangat langka dan mahal, -red.)

    dan aku tidak tahu bagaimana mereka melakukannya, tapi ketika aku membuka pintu kamarku malam ini, dengan tangan belepotan semir putih dan hitam, di mejaku sudah ada satu bungkus graham crackers..

    dari mana aku tahu kalau itu dari Ratso?
    well.. di sebelahnya ada beberapa butir tai tikus, so.. i figured itu signaturenya si ratso (sperti zorro dgn tanda Z-nya)

    ya begitu saja cerita dariku hari ini..

    please give my regards to ur nice aunts :)
    how's ur make up and sewing lessons btw?
    i think ur aunts are right, you have to learn on those kinds of stuffs
    kmu kan tidak bisa selamanya mengandalkan wajahmu yang cantik dan suaramu yg semerdu burung itu.. although i really2 miss ur voice, aurel :)

    take care n lots of love from me,



    And now in English :P

    Dear Aurelvin,

    My step mother and sisters have been given me all sorts of tasks lately.. They told me to wash tissue napkins, while polishing black shoes with a white polish and polishing white shoes with a black polish..

    Perhaps after all that they would also tell me to trim the lawn with a nail-cutter blindfolded :'(

    So sorry that I haven't been able to write you sooner. All i can i do is to write you something every time i'm going to bed, and give it to my beloved favorite pet house mice, Ratso.. oh today Ratso and his friends has been extremely lovely. Yesterday daddy sent me a pack of Graham crackers.. which was of course being taken away from me by evil stepmother, leaving me with nothing. (Graham crackers is an expensive commodity)

    I dont know how they've done it. But as I opened the door to my room tonight (my hands all dirty and spotted with white and black shoe polish), there it was.. a pack of Graham crackers..

    Now how would I know that it's Ratso's doing? Well.. laying next to it were a few tiny pieces of rat droppings. So.. i figured it's Ratso's signature, just like Zorro with his 'Z' carvings.

    Well, that's all for now.

    Please give my regards to your nice aunts :)
    How's your make-up and sewing lessons by the way?
    I think your aunts are right, you have to learn those kinds of things.
    You cant forever count on your pretty face and birdlike voice.. Although i really2 miss ur voice, aurel :)

    Take care and lots of love from me,


    Slumdog “Destroyed My Family"

    The ugly family situation of Rubina Ali, the nine-year-old Slumdog Millionaire actress, continues to worsen, according to The Times of London. Photographers captured a physical fight between Rubina's mother and stepmother over claims that the girl's father tried to sell her in an illegal adoption deal. Now, Sana Ali, Rubina's 13-year-old sister, said her father had driven her from the Mumbai slum home she shared with her siblings and stepmother. "My father said I was unwanted and Rubina was more precious," she said. "Abba [father] cared for us well before Slumdog ... The Oscar has destroyed my family." Sana also said that she knew about the alleged adoption negotiations.

    Posted using ShareThis

    the great betrayer

    i dont know what to say to you..
    i dont know if ure expecting a reply

    i know i lost a great guy. you’ve been so good to me and my family, i would not dare ask for a better husband to-be than you. you put up with everything for this relationship, for our marriage. while i was hardly so. disappoint my family. im sorry im not like you. you know what you want and you’re determined to get it. you’re a great friend. someone i can talk to and depend on. i was really happy, i thought that i have found a guy who i could talk about anything to. you are really someone who will do anything to make a girl happy. but im just too self destructive and always ruin things. we can never be together.

    those criteria that u mentioned in your email, i think you fit just right in.. i know im gonna regret and get jealous at that lucky girl who would finally be the one you’re gonna spend your life with.

    i had seen everything coming but still continued. and i thought i just keep trying/hiding/lying, anything but telling the truth so i didnt hv to hurt you.
    but now i just hurt both of us more.. i never wanted this

    i wish i could be more truthful to myself and everybody. be a stronger person and not so clueless, instead of just following you and try to convince myself that what u want is what i want as well.. i know i tried. i’m sorry that i could not make up my mind sooner, and how i wish we didnt have to go through all this.

    i dont know what im going to do now.. i just know i want to be alone for a while..
    im gonna try to be okay, ur email was a big blow. coz everything u said was true, and i was always trying to run away from/ignore it all the time.

    i really appreciate that you still want to be friends with me, but how can you still be friends with someone like me.
    i hate what i have done.. how can you not hate me.

    im sorry you’ve met me.. you deserve to be happy.. not be around me and my messed up life.

    take care and thanks for everything.

    im stupid. sorry.

    o teh wise one hath spokenth

    Source: Stefan Sagmeister’s full list of 20 maxims

    no.. i didnt write the whole thing. Ulma's original content will recommence as soon as she managed to move her ass away from her frequently recurring feelings of incompetence. The list came from Sagmeister's new book, "Things I Have Learned In My Life So Far". Stefan Sagmeister is a renowned Austrian designer.. currntly living in Bali.. (oh wow..).. uhmm.. n here goes the list (in bold), plus comments:

    1. Helping other people helps me.
    Helping other people helps other people. They helping me helps me. If only there was a way they help me without me helping them..hmm

    2. Having guts always works out for me.
    Having guts usually gives ppl bruises, bone fractures and a night in jail.

    3. Thinking that life will be better in the future is stupid. I have to live now.
    Yes. Because life will suck in the future. You could you think life will be better..stupid!
    PS: And you "are"... living now, technically...

    4. Organising a charity group is surprisingly easy.
    But very time consuming and you dont even get to keep the money :(

    5. Being not truthful always works against me.
    Not really... It may work against me in the future but "I have to live now"

    6. Everything I do always comes back to me.
    Imagine being haunted by the things u do in the toilet...
    "I knowwww what u did last night... You forcefully pushed me out....drowned me and flushed me down... but i'm BACK"

    7. Assuming is stifling.
    Assuming usually comes after thinking. Not thinking is worse. Assuming that I won't get hit by a meteorite and fall to the ground, got run-over by a large truck and bunnies humping my dead corpse helps me get through the day.

    8. Drugs feel great in the beginning and become a drag later on.
    Don't let drugs ruin your life. Just move on to stronger drugs when the current one starts to bore you.

    9. Over time I get used to everything and start taking for granted.
    Not true. When I was young I shitted, pissed, cried to the people who gave me life and took care of me. I stopped last year and now I am very grateful.

    10. Money does not make me happy.
    True the important things are to always have food, a place to sleep, taking care of your loved ones and make sure they have food and a place to sleep.
    But most importantly is just to be around your loved ones with clothes on and not smell bad. Thank god these things are all FREE!! Oh's not -.-

    11. My dreams have no meaning.
    Correct. Dreams are not to be mistaken with visions into the near future.
    That would totally freak me out. Unless yours are, but meaningless visions are just dreams without a meaning... uhh wait.. i'm confused now...

    12. Keeping a diary supports personal development.
    Especially if you have acute or short-term memory loss.

    13. Trying to look good limits my life.
    Try harder. Trying to look good got me hired at the intake, opened new doors, a better social life. it also made me satisfied with who I am so I don't get judged on my appearance but quality and knowledge.

    And I got that lovely smile from the sushi waitress the other night.

    14. Material luxuries are best enjoyed in small doses.
    That's why I prefer a small Porsche over a Hummer anytime.

    15. Worrying solves nothing.
    Not worrying solves nothing. Worrying means you take something seriously and think of possible solutions.
    Imagine you're room caught fire this instant! Worrying gets you out of the building and call the fire department. Otherwise you'll just turn your head and continue watch nip/tuck.

    16. Complaining is silly. Either act or forget.
    I act by complaining to get what I want. Forgetting that I got robbed by a giant 2 meter felon with a handgun or hunting him down myself is just silly.

    17. Everybody thinks they are right.
    How silly of them...There's only one person who is.

    18. If I want to explore a new direction professionally, it is helpful to try it out for myself first.
    Huh? I don't get it.. Oh you mean like if I want to taste pizza the right way, I have to try to eat it first..

    Well when you put it in food terms..

    19. Low expectations are a good strategy.
    Yes, the lower the better. Assuming that you go bankrupt right after you finish a project is the way to go!
    Boss: Men! When we're done building this school we're surely go bankrupt and you will all get fired.

    Would probably turn out to be a very solid school I think.

    20. Everybody who is honest is interesting.
    Thats why all boring stuffs are made by liars. Like books and movies.
    Thank god we have religious people. They are forbidden to lie and have like the most fun ever... Like stoning gays, sex with little boys, beating their women or just marry a few underage ones. Great fun.

    And people.. there you have it.. *drum rolls, crowd cheers, applause, roses, curtains*

    mirror, mirror..

    with a blunt thud the mirror fell to the ground.
    i was half-surprised as i watched its fragments scattered all over.
    the mirror suffered a number of crashes before but never broke.
    this last fall finally took the toll.

    i dont know if it has any significant meaning to my life right now.
    the mirror fell before. it didn't break. it fell again. still didnt break.
    me and my roommate used to laugh whenever it happened. "will the day when we have to find a new mirror ever come?"

    so it broke.
    and there are mirror pieces shattered on the floor.
    small pieces, some or so small they look like shinning, sparkling dust.

    and i thought to myself. so that's it. no loud noises. no drama. it just fell and broke.
    didnt give out a noise except the usual 'thud'.
    the mirror just shattered.

    im not sure if i want to clean it.
    i want to keep the proove that the mirror that i thought would never break, just broke.
    look, you can see the pieces on the floor. small pieces, and some glitters like the stars in the night sky.

    and i thought it would never break.

    im gonna get in trouble for this.. =p

    Meet Scott:
    "Hello Everyone, I Am A Christian And I Love To Upload Videos That Teaches You What Christianity Is All About. I Love Acting And Just Making Things Up."

    he's like the mini version of him(/her). Ooh im so scaareeeed xD

    im (not) gonna see slumdog millionaire

    last night i had a "sneak" preview of the oscar-winning movie, 'Slumdog Millionaire'.
    I watched like, the first 15 minutes
    before i decided to stop the movie and switched to Aladdin =p

    15 minutes might not be enough to base my judgement of not gonna see the movie at all xD

    what i didnt like from that 15 minutes:
  • a boy got tortured for answering correctly in a 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' quiz. i dont know how well-educated the ppl in india are. the q's seem to be fairly easy. (yea ok i couldnt answer who played the main role in a 1973 bollywood movie).
  • those flashbacks.. sad, depressing flashbacks everytime the boy had to answer a q. (its really bad there, but the boy will get his millions, so.. it doesnt matter right?)
  • its a movie. who makes profit? movie-makers n those young actors. the poor in india might not get anything more than sympathy.

    its really far-fetched. a boy winning millions of money. this boy who was covered in shit to get amitabh bachchahn's autograph... n have it sold by his brother.

    if they want to engage sympathy, why not make it a realistic one.
    if its for entertainment.. well its not my kind of entertainment i guess.

    i know its a feel-good movie, trying to show how poor people, one out of a zillion might win the 'who wants to be a millionaire' quiz. there's a lot of misery in this world n i dont know which is worse, being ignorant of them or trying to make money out of it. selling their miseries&their dreams. dreams too far fetched it might never come true. it just hurts.

    story-wise, the indonesian movie "laskar pelangi" is better, mybe since it is inspired by true life events.
  • :p

    wasi found this pic in lookbook some time ago. she had it in her laptop for quite a while n today she showed it to me.

    when i saw it,.. it made it to my freakish moments list.

    apa-apaan ini -_-

    Nothing interesting came up to my life lately im jst gnna throw in more personality/random useless stuff.. And this one's effin annoying -_-

    You appreciate the better things of life and you don't particularly want to strive in order to achieve them. What a pity you were not born into the Gentry with servants, etc. Unfortunately - life is not like that. You have the ability to be whatever it is that you would like to be but you must make the effort. ahahah.. dammit -_-

    You are experiencing considerable difficulty trying to achieve your goals. As a consequence of this you are becoming more and more irritable. Your friends and acquaintances are finding it increasingly more difficult to appease or to reason with you. You are the cause of your own problems. ouch Don't be so impulsive. double ouch It is your vacillation that can lead to problems and uncertainties. ouch.. ouch.. ouch.. -_- Ease up a little. Ease up a little??

    In spite of all the opposition, you are insisting that your goals are realistic but circumstances are forcing you to compromise. You are not very happy with this situation but there is little that you can do about it. You have very strict standards which you try to apply to everyone who enters your sphere of influence.

    At this moment in time you feel as if you have lost the strength of will to contend with existing problems and difficulties which appear to you as deliberate opposition. You are trying to stand your ground but the pressures are intolerable. You would like some co-operation from those around you but it's not forthcoming so you feel that, in its absence, there is nothing you can do to improve the current situation. You would like nothing better than to 'get away from it all'.

    Circumstances are such that you have been exposed to considerable stress and tension, perhaps due to unfulfilled emotional needs. You would like nothing better than to escape from it all by retiring to some 'fantasy land' where you are permitted to RELAX and get back your strength.

    >>its like somebody's reading my nightmare -no, its my life- out loud to me -_-

    stupid hovering cubes..



    update april 22nd 2009

    Is it that you are working - or even playing - too hard? Because it would seem that you are experiencing a great deal of pent-up emotion at this time which could possibly take effect and lead to irrational behaviour.

    You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image. You need for those people in positions that matter to recognise your potential and to acknowledge you.

    You are a rather inhibited sort of person. This could be the result of your upbringing or of your schooling, whatever. You are able to obtain satisfaction from various forms of physical or emotional activity but all in all you are inclined to be emotionally withdrawn. As a consequence of this you find it difficult to sustain any deep involvement.

    Stresses resulting from a recent disappointment have led to considerable trepidation. It would seem that there seems to be so much left undone. Everything surrounds you with that air of uncertainty. You badly need to feel a sense of security and whatever it takes to protect you against further disappointment. At this particular time you doubt that things could be any better in the future but you are sticking to your guns and refusing to take advice from any source.

    At this time you don't particularly like yourself. Everything that you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong. This makes you feel that there is no point in trying to start again. Apart from being stressed and tense, you are angry with yourself and have unadmitted self-contempt. Your refusal to admit that you and you alone is the basic cause of your problems leads to you adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude. If you take stock of yourself, smile a little and let go, everything will turn out OK. Have you not heard of the cliche 'smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you cry alone!'?


    what ulma needs

    - a friday night home (to focus on one track)
    - to be de-programmed


    thanks, zoomdoggle!

    Ready to find out what you need? What you really need? Like on the deepest level possible…

    Google knows all. Simply google your name, and the word NEEDS, all in quotes. Whatever comes up is, well, exactly what you need.

    hahahah.. eat that!

    Your view on yourself:
    You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. well..i try to
    The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
    You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. nyahahahaha..

    Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior. u mean the handsome next door neighbour?
    Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
    You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. yesh, true true..

    And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. huh?
    The seriousness of your love:
    Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates. :D
    Your views on education
    Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own. XD
    The right job for you:
    You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. *nods
    How do you view success:
    Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working. whats the use of hving everything if u hv nobody to share it with *cough cough
    What are you most afraid of:
    You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. agree up to this point.

    It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear. oh geez im so shallow..
    Who is your true self:
    You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
    Ay me, how weak a thing
    The heart of woman is!

    Anyone can be a great fortune-teller at once. This is the secret of its popularity.

    You are Silver Raccoon, who is delicate in that, you still hold girlish innocence and prettiness.
    Your facial expression and action is also gentle, and tends to be bit of a poser.
    Even though you are gentle and quiet, there is side of you that can not control your self-indulgence.
    You don't talk much, but are a proud person and will not easily listen to other people.
    This makes you stiff and obstinate.
    You possess calmness that will not be moved by situations.
    You tend to judge people coolly.
    Personality wise, you have strong emotions, and if the situation is about yourself, you tend to be easily influenced.
    In personal relationships, you prefer to keep long relations than to have a short one.
    Once you have met a person who would understand you, you try to keep that relationship forever.
    To do this, it may be getter if you could broaden your acquaintance, and at the same time broaden your field of interest, and develop yourself as a human being.
    You are not very good at organizing and clearing up.
    You prefer to spend your time outside socializing.
    You are suited to stay out that to stay at home.

    of course i prefer long term relationship. but what happens most of the time is the opposite =p
    i like the "broadening acquaintance"-part.. *giggle*
    never see myself as a social person.
    yea begitulah =p
    btw bahasa inggrisnya kaco nih ah yg bikin..

    Repeat (playlist)

    tell me in the morning

    oh i prmise nt to cry, anymore..

    you and i are a gang of losers
    ..and ppl say our babies r walking this town

    i die, u smile, u laugh, i cry.

    I'm afraid my time has expired
    I hope you'll come and dry me
    I hope you can find me
    I'm afraid to rust tonight

    everything will be alright

    and my heart, they dont beat.
    they dont beat the way they used to
    and my eyes they dont recognise you no more
    and my lips, they dont kiss
    they dont kiss the way they used to..

    i love the bones of you

    i could make u smile
    if u stay awhile

    there's a pain in my heart.

    im sorry i've met u

    hit me i cn take ur cheap shots.

    -ramblin' (wo)man
    goin back to 505

    wow s > losers

    below is a preview on hw dutch teens chat..

    - hi
    * what did u do this weekend
    - nothing
    * how come nothing. tell me.
    - played WoW a bit
    * that's for losers
    - its not
    * oh no?
    - im on level 75
    * stupid game. get a life
    - how come?
    * look in the mirror, man
    - go away
    * weirdo

    bahasanya, cara nyingkatnya.. ngalah2in anak indo ga sih? =p theyre the champions of creating frighteningly short txtspk xD

    pic was taken from this article on trouw about how bullying behaviour has moved online in The Netherlands. rutger was "the nerd" in elsine's class. some adults might view their conversation as a case of bullying and feared a more serious effects that might caused by it. however elsine thought that it's supposed to be funny n she didnt mean to bully him. teachers at school gets more and more reports where students got into fights (especially on mondays) just because of an online conversation that happened during the weekend.
    internet banking abn amro goblok -_-


    If GOD touches you with adversity, none can relieve it
    except He. And if He touches you with a blessing, He is
    Omnipotent. [Al-An'am:17]
    This miserable-by-choice, self-destruct person cant deny the fact that today she actually feels good n happy.. n will promise to try to maintain that happy feeling the whole day.

    your life will never be the same

    ladies and gentlemen,

    i present to you.. uhm.. just click the 'play' button..

    this kind of thing.. get stuck in your head for hours xD
    cant stop thinking about 'em.
    four dancing.. yellow pink purple and blue.. with dots and lines xD
    seven minutes.. lol
    udah melodinya sama..
    i was screaming and laughing all the time xD
    watched it with prima.. our reactions were, among others:
    "oh my God"
    "what is THAT???"
    "oh okay.. Hi Nirodh"
    "oh wow.. I didnt know that.."
    "oh my God. seven minutes?"
    "6 minutes! we're almost there!!!" xD
    "this thing is longer than a music video!"
    "good tool for brainwashing, tho.."

    For the past 11 years, P Narsingh Rao, director of Nrityanjali academy, a socio-cultural group based in Hyderabad, has been using the performing arts to promote awareness. (source)

    looking back..

    5 days to go before my 24th birthday. some highlights of my life (thanks vin for the inspiration :)):

    1. broke up with a long-term (well longest for me) serious boyfriend
    2. being totally broke
    3. getting married.. to a yapping git :p
    4. found a cute substance that's hard to ignore
    5. say bye bye to cute substance
    6. repeat 4&5 at least three times xD
    7. be a social outcast
    8. found what 'love' really means (neah i lied :p)
    9. lost my salary
    10. watchd radiohead perform live
    11. watchd slash and scott weiland perform live
    12. tried painting
    13. went to eurodisney
    14. had my parents come visit me
    15. had first disagreement with parents
    16. wrote a book review for ABC
    17. realise my youth is finally over
    18. whatever i wntd to do to change/improve myself: ITS TOO LATE

    i dont want to be older..

    6 more things to add:
    1. ate noodle voluntarily for the first time -_- always staying away frm noodles.. but basic survival urge made me finally ate those curly-wurly things
    2. own a senseo-apparaat xD
    3. managed to have a coffee-and-nicotine-free day. woo-hoo
    4. found out that noisy indie rock can be listen-able as well
    5. finally.. take a shower.. EVERYDAY! =D well okay, i missed one day coz i didnt hv to go anywhere.. but it was only ONE day. =D
    6. having the feeling that im in control of my life and at the same time im not.

    yg kayak gini emg ga bisa pake bahasa inggris :p

    I'M SO SORRY.. -_-

    good morning, sunshine..

    wake up wake up. It's the third time,..
    you've tried to reawaken.
    Interrupted. In a land,..
    that is forsaken.
    which way up? -- fuck up pattern
    wake up, wake up

    a short poem by C.C. =P

    (published with permission, heheh..)


    Beyonce and Justin Timberlake SNL Skit (11/15/08)

    :D thanks, Feb!

    oh and IFFR is 5 days away! there's gonna b 11 Indonesian titles playing:
  • 9808 An Anthology of 10th Year Indonesian Reform, 10 shorts by 10 film-makers
  • The Anniversary Gift
  • Blind Pig Who Wants to Fly. Was also premièred at Jiffest 08
  • Joko Anwar's Forbidden Door
  • Heaven for Insanity, a short on mental institution
  • Jermal. A collaboration between Indonesian, Dutch, German, and Switzerland film-makers
  • Kantata Takwa
  • The Shaman.. looks like my kind of movie :p
  • Small Step of Morning, by Holland graduate Kusuma Widjaja Putu
  • Takut: Faces of Fear. Six horror shorts.
  • Garin Nugroho's Under The Tree..

    umm yea.. horror flicks are always so "hip" in Indo.. thx for the head-up vin :D
  • wolvie <3

    i dont care if the movie suck.. its.. hugh jackman... *drool*

    ooh and gambit's gonna b there as well :D

    for abc's you review: loser's town by daniel depp (drafts)

    This is what i'm planning to write..comments?:

    I picked the book because.. of the cheesy title :p and it might be an easy one to review. Summarised, the story goes like this: An ex stuntman, trying to protect an A-list Hollywood star, from a B-list gangster. The author was Daniel Depp, further googling revealed that he is johnny depp's half-brother. From then on the truth dawned upon me that i'm going to review a relative of my favorite Hollywood actor. enough of the stardom bafflement, daniel depp's novel promised a noir-hollywood work of fiction. embellishing the fact that he's an insider so it should offer "juicy" details about the most famous complex on earth.

    Being the first part of a series of novel that is more to come, it should be pretty important for this début to engage its readers with the main character, the ex-stuntman aka cowboy aka texas aka David Spandau. Which he succeeds. But for the rest, the novel doesnt really give anything special. The "inside Hollywood" feel can be achieved nowadays via extensive news feed, tv shows/series.. people who reach to this book on the bookshelf might be somebody who is curious about the author, looking for a light crime-nuanced read, but don't expect to find a literature masterpiece.

    would they be intrigued enough to read the sequel? they might. amidst the rather weak climax, unripe character development, and a blatant ending, with enough marketing, the series might find its own niche reader. being the half-brother of johnny depp surely helps.

    and here's a new japanese trailer for watchmen :D

    version 2.0. - updated 130109@11.30am

    Loser's Town is to be the first from the David Spandau crime novel series. In his début novel, Daniel Depp took his reader to the world of David Spandau. An ex stuntman now making a living as a Private Investigator for Hollywood celebrity clients. He got hired by Bobby Dye, a rising star who feared that he got black-mailed by Richie, a local mobster.

    The author tried to deliver, as promised by the back cover, detailed sceneries and trivia of Tinseltown. The glam, the fame, the precognitive "all that glitters is not gold". The book is constantly playing with the concept that everybody loves tragedy, a sad story behind the superficially sovereign. The romanticism of the forlorn cowboy in a jungle of fake confidence and greed. Aren't we all just lonely human beings in the end, trying to make out something from our lives. Or from Richie's perspective (and according to Depp, everybody else who lives in Hollywood), make movies.

    Amidst the rather weak climax, unripe character development (except for the main character), and a blatant ending, Depp managed to polish Spandau's persona in a way that make readers sympathize in the end. Personally speaking, the reason why I might be interested in reading the sequel is to find out whatever will happen next to Spandau. Loser's Town does not need to be an acclaimed literature. With good marketing the series will find its own niche reader. I hate to say this but being the half-brother of Johnny Depp surely helps.

    im a douche bag

    dear readers,

    this is how a 'douche' look like in Holland:

    i started watching south park when i moved here. eric n friends like to say 'douche' or 'douche bag'. i thought, "hey.. thats cute, i dont know that 'shower' can b used as a swear word. I guess thats what happend to other completely innocent words such as 'balls' and 'pussy'".

    But alas, now im not so innocent anymore.. for it was revealed to me, the true meaning of 'douche'
    (n) douche, douche bag (a small syringe with detachable nozzles; used for vaginal lavage and enemas)
    i feel not so innocent anymore.. i feel betrayed.. whyyyy south park.. whhhyyyy??????? T___________T

    but yeah, doesnt mean that i'll refrain from using the word. its fun to say it.. you're a dusshhh... a dusshhh baaaaag... its just, now i hv the correct mental image whenever i hear/say those words again =D

    late-night discovery

    still the same person
    might know one more thing or two compared to a couple of years ago..
    but in general,
    still the same person..
    HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Here's my resolution:
  • inspired by die -> finish a book every 2 months
  • start having a planned/patterned day. i never really organise my days, letting everything flow. so im gonna try to come up with a "schedule" and see if i could keep it =p

    last week Tuesday ifta invited me n elvin to her place. It was my day off so i decided to "cook" something for them. i lookd around for an easy recipe n i found this: fromage blanc and blueberry crepe blintzes. The recipe looked easy n the photo looked good. but of course, some small 'disasters' followed, my blintzes didnt turn out like the picture xD i substituted fromage blanc with roomkaas (easier to find in supermarkets here.. NOT i didnt knw that fromage blanc in NL=kwark :p).

    So instead, my blintz looked like this:

    And the following are the events that caused it:
    ~first: i didnt knw where to find crepes -.- so i thought i might use.... pancakes instead.. xD yea op kors i could also make my own, crepes in this occasion, but laziness prevailed n i went for pancakes.
    ~second: i didnt pre-heat the pancakes :p so when i tried to roll it, it broke xD as i lookd at my destroyed roll of pancake ifta casually saved the day by saying "try to heat it up first in the microwave".. GENIUS! why didnt i think of that? xD
    ~third: instead of using normal sugar, i used bastard sugar.. why? coz its cheaper xD result: the blueberry sauce almost turned into blueberry jam! lol..
    ~fourth: absent-mindedly i threw away almost all of the blueberry 'syrup' to the sink -.-

    luckily ifta cookd a major yummy spaghetti ^^ n we were so full so we decided to eat the pancake for breakfast. bsides.. who eats pancake for dinner? :p well.. i was already nibbling some even after saying "i'm full.. i'm full!".

    the girls looking happy after yummy spaghetti

    after dinner was MOVIE time! yay!! ifta had this selection of... INDONESIAN horror movies!!! xD the options were The Legend of Sundel Bolong, The Legend of Sundel Bolong 2, and The Wall.

    i had to "censor" ifta coz she didnt wear her headscarf :p

    Sundel Bolong is *ahum* ..
    ...a female ghost in Indonesian mythology with long hair n (like most female ghosts..there must be an international convention for this..) wears a white long dress. She lost some skin on her back (see movie picture) but it was partly covered by her long hair. Some stories has it that she was raped and then died, some stories added that she gave birth in her grave. (how this is possible i have nooooo clue). Some stories said that besides scaring the living hell out of people they also take newborn babies.. or.. ask a living person to hold her baby and then something scary supposed to happen when that person agrees. (Loosely translated from wikipedia :p)
    The Wall i guess was about this female ghost that showed up from the wall (hence the title xD). So The Legend of Sundel Bolong won unanimously :P

    It was not as crappy as i thought xD Baim was kinda cute, he looked like the whiter version (and straight hair version, and no-beard version, and famous version xD).. of neysa's husband *giggle*. The movie also had some twist that i didnt expect such as .. the part when the village workers and the religious people started slaughtering each other :D but we're still wondering whether the husband whose wife had turned into the sundel bolong might b able to remarry.. well i guess we have to save the question for The Legend of Sundel Bolong 2!!!

    anyways.. was great fun..

    so here's the recipe again, with metric conversion n how to make ur own crepes :D (for 10 average-sized rolls of goodness :p)

    1.5 cups of ricotta cheese
    0.5 cup of cream cheese (or kwark)
    1 lemon
    5 tablespoons of sugar
    4 eggs
    340gr of blueberries (bosbessen or bosvruchten or blauw bessen). the recipe asked for frozen ones but i think u can find fresh ones here in NL... but since they're going to be used as the sauce, i opted for the jarred ones cause they hv this 'syrup' inside.
    1.25 cups of flour
    1/8 teaspoon of salt
    1.75 cups of milk (volle melk is recommended of course)
    2 tablespoons of melted butter
    some more butter for sautéing
    10 crepes..

    1. making the crepes: -> this looks like my next project.. if only i could find ppl to eat 'em xD ..blend 3 eggs, 1 cup flour, salt, milk, and the melted butter.. 'pulse' until its properly blend. Chill for 1 hour or up to 1 day. Heat the frying pan (medium-high), melt some butter, pour in approx. 2 tablespoons of batter. Tilt the pan around to coat the surface evenly. After 45 sec-1 minute, or until its translucent and dry, loosen the edges with a spatula and toss it over to a piece of wax paper (baking paper). use wax paper in between crepes to avoid it from sticking to each other.

    2. Preheat oven to 200 degrees Celcius.

    3. The cheese filling: grate the whole lemon (only use the yellow part! dont grate the whole skin off xD), mix it with the cheeses, the egg, and 3.5 tablespoons of sugar for approx. 30 seconds.

    4. Fold the crepe in half, and place the rounded edge at facing up. Take about one full tablespoon of the filling and put it on the right of centre in a vertical stripe that does not quite reach the top and bottom edges of the crêpe. Then fold the top and bottom of the crêpe so that it just tucks over the cheese filling, and then fold the right side over the filling, and roll it gently toward the left. Repeat for the next 10 crepes.

    5. Melt 1 teaspoon of butter on medium-high heat and sauté the crepes 2 minutes per side, to make them crispy. Repeat to all crepes.

    6. Transfer the crepes to a baking sheet, and bake for 8 minutes.

    7. The blueberry sauce: cut the lemon in half and juice one halve. keep the other halve for.. i dont know.. scaring off cockroaches maybe.. combine the blueberries, lemon juice, the rest of the sugar and flour in a saucepan over medium high heat. Simmer for the 8 minutes that the blintzes are in the oven.

    8. Plate the blintzes, and serve the blueberry sauce alongside.
  • robyn's be mine

    *sung with tears runnin down*
    It's a good thing tears never show in the pouring rain
    As if a good thing ever could make up for all the pain
    There'll be no last chance to promise to never mess it up again
    Just the sweet pain of watching your back as you walk
    As I'm watching you walk away
    And now you're gone, there's like an echo in my head
    And I remember every word you said

    It's a cruel thing you'll never know all the ways I tried
    It's a hard thing, faking a smile when I
    feel like I'm falling apart inside

    But you never were, and you never will be mine

    For the first time, there is no mercy in your eyes
    And the cold wind is hitting my face and you're gone
    And you're walking away
    And now I'm helpless
    Sometimes wishing's just no good
    'Cause you don't see me like I wish you would

    There's a moment to seize everytime that we meet
    But you always keep passing me by

    You looked happy, and that's great
    I just miss you, that's all

    dancing version here ballad version here