give evil hell!!

Up the airy mountain,
Down the rushing glen,
We daren't go a-hunting
For fear of little men.

"The Fairies"
William Allingham

a head trip to nowhere

"Remember To Breath

She fixes her lips, they
Always look perfect
Never a smudge line
Never too
Much . . .

I try on my blue shirt
She told me she liked it

She wonders what I'll wear
She knows just what she'll wear
She always wears blue

Some sneakers of flip flops
I'm starting to panic
Remember she asked you
Remember to
Breathe . . .
And everything . . .
Will be okay . . .


Dashboard Confessional

I've spent the whole day sitting-down, staring @ my laptop!! :D udh lama banget ga kaya gini, hehehe..

Aktivitas berdiri-berjalan cm wktu I fixed myself more herbal tea, or coffee, or a glass of tap water.

Makanan hari ini: beberapa keping coklat, aardappelschijves, dan frozen veggies, dadar jagung, pisang goreng dan vis lemper as breakfast.. ;p

Herbal tea-ny Zonnatura yg ideale gewicht dan weerstand, lagi diskon d Vomar --> 1+1=1 (gw baru tau loh, hehehe..), seharga Eur 1.59 n tiap kotakny @ 20 bags.

Selain duduk bengong baca2 artikel yg seliweran d internet, ngobrol2 ma Prima, ikut ngomentarin bintang2 pelm taon 80-an d Mtv Retrosexual.. seru banget ^^ seakan2 jumat malam smpe sabtu adh wktuny nonton sex-cult *lol.. mo ngelanjutin baca Bill Bryson tp ga sempet2.. bukuny udh ditaro d samping tapi ga dibuka2..

Barusan ad telp. dari Warung Kamal (yg punya sodarany mba Nunung, salah satu pekerja d Warung Bandung), said I could try to work @ her place next Monday (yippee..) jam 5 sore. Tapi bcoz ak juga masi keukeuh pengen move 2 Utrecht, ak bilang klo mybe cm bisa bntu d warungny next week. Mybe sabtu bisa, so gw bakal Utrecht-A'dam gtu.. (jauh tp y?? =/) Anyway, Ik kan geld ruiken (mxdnya mo bilang: wwaaaaa ak bisa nyium bau uangg!!!)

Called April and asked if she had any info about rooms for rent in Utrecht. Sbenerny ga gitu deket ma April, ga pernah ngobs2, dan rada sungkan mo nanya dia.. tp this is emergency and I need every help that I could get.. lagian temen2 juga pada nyaranin buat ngehubungin si April.

Another thing that has became a habit of mine lately adalah --> ngelirik HP, ngecekin inbox semua account saya (dan yg dihibahkan kpd saya), dan ngelirik gmail notifier d pojok bwh kanan taskbar.. aktivitas2 tsb. sy lakukan at least every 5 minutes (or less sih sbenerny).. huhuhuh do call me desperate tp bginilah nasib pengangguran -____-'

*nyruput capuccino yg udh dingin*
Ah iya, td ma Prima smpet nyoba Palm Reading Quiz d after scrutinizing each of our hand palms and pain-stakingly answered every questions through the total of 10 pages on handline lengths, depths, patterns, the crookedness of our fingers (Prima akhirny sadar kl jariny bengkok :D), etc. , we enthusiastically clicked (well, 'I' since we did it on my laptop) on the 'Get my Results' button.. held our breath for a couple of minutes.. and... got pretty much disappointed when this popped out on the screen:


my credits for today goes to Dear God for blessing me with yet another day to live, Prima, Vina,,, my Yahoo! page, Gmail,, my mobile phone, the red sofa on the living room, Zonnatura herbal tea, my cofee mugs, the tap water for running whenever I need it to, our humble television set, o'lacy's halfvolle koffiemelk, coffee from de Wit supermarket, dear water-heater, coffee filters, the spoon, plate, fork and knife, chocolates, and the fridge for keeping the food on the right temperature (cold).


Telah seminggu saya di sini, di Holland tercinta.. tempat dingin berangin yang ditebari oleh fashionista2 independen (they care about how they look and also have the willingness to express their style as an original-->a premature assumption made by an Indonesian herbal-tea drinker), diselingi the fresh smell of manure when one travel on its highway road..

Actually a lot have been roaming my mind lately, whilst I havent written anything useful here since..months ago (probably never :p), I'm just going to write the stuffs that have crossed my mind to-day.

So I'm officially twenty years old for seventeen days and 19 hours 7 minutes as i typed the last 's' on 'minutes'. A couple of weeks before my birthday I imagined myself on an electric blue VW New Beetle convertible, driving on a highway, and as I drove further on this highway of life I came to a large road sign 'You are Leaving Your Teenage Life Span'. Felt a little excited there, and I could see at some distant the 'Welcome to the Glorious Days of the Twenty-Something' sign with neon lights and all that. But then another roadsign popped out of nowhere telling me 'If you havent found your signature perfume you better stop now and think'.. and I said to myself, "What??" so I pulled aside, stepped on the brake, put my hand to my chin and started contemplating.

Actually saya mulai mikir2 kayak gitu since last year, ga tau tepatnya kapan, I guess my solitary mind was bothered when a friend of mine said, "you are the most simplistic girl i've ever known".. that remark was uttered after I told him that I only use deodorants and no more to de-odour myself. I mean, as long I dont stink, why should I spend extra cash so that I can have thaT extra 'smell'?

Tambah kepikiran lagi pas mulai stage (a.k.a. internship-dash-placement-dash-PKL).. wktu itu gw ma lina mo first time ketemuan ma department managerny buat ngomongin kerjaan.. so we put on our most formal look (standard: blazer n clana kain item - item), dan pake make-up dikit (something that I'm beginning to learn :p), lalu.. humm kykny ad yang kurang.. Aaaaaa.. aku butuh 'aroma'.. to create that aura of confidence, high self-esteem and professionalism (huhuhu berlebihan ya ;p)

Anyway, karena d Tmbagapura ga ada toko parfum, jadi saya membeli Johnson and Johnson's baby cologne yg morning dew. Knapa yg itu? well ga tau de..nginget wktu jaman SMP-SMU kykny pernah pake gituan.

Lalu, ulma mulai berpikir.. I think this is time for me to have a perfume.. to have that.. 'signature scent'

But what? how can I find the right scented-mixture-in-a-bottle for me? out of hundreds-thousands of perfume brands out there.. how can I choose the one that will be my identity, that will support my personality, the scent that will be memorized by my future husband(s).. *:p*

Le parfum choisi: Clinique Simply
I don't exactly remember how I chose the Clinique Simply as my signature scent-to be. The only thing I know is that I roamed around in Dubai Duty Free in, where else, International Airport of Dubai looking for that clinique simply. Just want to know the price. *whoops wait a minute, I'm having a past-time vision*
I remembered.. lagi liat2 d Bijenkorf ma Nia,.. trus pertama kali liat itu Clinique Simply, intrigued by the name.. "Simply" huhuh.. sepertinya mengena sekali ke saya. Trus spritz spritz.. enak kok ^^ regone... hu uh.. 35 Euro.. umm tapi entah mengapa saat itu saya declared to myself, "gw mau parfum iniiiiii!!!"

"Clinique Simply Perfume Spray

A sheer, vibrant fragrance that surrounds you with unexpected warmth, surprising depth. With the velvety impression of wet, white flower petals, the creamy, comfort of soymilk and the intimacy of soy nut and smoked woods. A nice place to be."

See, I'm unexpectedly warm and surprisingly deep =p although not velvety wet =p i'm creamy, comfortable, intimate, and a nice person to be with.. *LOL

Forgive me for the rubbish :D

But anyway, tadi habis ng-apply Verblijfsvergunningen Algemeen (hope I spell it right), sy memutuskan tuk jalan2 bentar d A'dam Stad, .. keluar-masuk douglas, ici paris xl, dan the body shop (mo nge-reconfirm klo bener2 pilih clinique simply dan bukanny oceanus -> another signature scent-to be), trus sempet kepikiran mo ke Rituals juga, tapi..engga de entar malah binun trllu bnyak opsi =p

Nympe rumah, ceting ma Edu, temen wktu Junior High (a fancy name for SMP), dan dia yg ngetawain gw pas gw cerita klo gw blm mo punya parfum n musti nabung dulu buat akhirnya ngebeli si parfum pilihan, hehehe..

Sometimes it seems as not the right thing to do klo mengklasifikasikan diri, atau orang, berdasarkan parfum, music taste, books they read, trus nantiny ngerembet ke mobile phone, cars, accesories... ouch! Hal2 duniawi yang bisa gone in a blink of an eye. We can't avoid the fact that we oftenly do that, classifying people based on what they own, their personal style. Udh berulang2 juga kita diingetin sama 'inner and external beauty', 'dont judge a book by its cover'. Pasti org2 pada kaget klo skrg gw mulai mikirin 'penampilan/uiterlijk/appearance'..huihihi gw sndiri aj ngeri dengerny.. tp emang gw tambah sadar klo i'm living with human!! they've got eyes (and nose and ears) and they're using them to make judgements..whether i like it or not.

I used to live with the thought "I am what I am and what other's thought of me do not bother me a single bit". Well entah knp sekarang I know that, what they think matters. Gw selalu mikir klo all of that materialistic thoughts useless karena toh klo udh mati ya udah, nothing else matters. Aku ga terlalu appreciate my life. Yg tadiny kesanny itu adalah prinsip hidup yg bisa dibanggain, malah bikin gw ragu, coz simply gw sadar klo gw ga ngehargain anugerah yg udh dikasih sama Sang Pencipta.

And why not making my life better? Klo a spritz of a 30.34 Euro perfume (harga ICI Paris XL)--> p'hitungan bngt ya gw :p bisa bikin gw feel good about myself.. I think it's worth it. Ini ga cuma parfum sih, ak ngerasa that I should appreciate other things as well, such as my home, my friends, my belongings, my moneeeyy.. semua yg udh dikasih Tuhan, to be exact. Bukan berarti gw jadi narscicist or hedonist.. (actually nothing's wrong with them, they are also enjoying and appreciating life in their own way) the important thing is I'm trying to appreciate my life. Well I have to say that, as it may sound very cheesy, selecting a perfume or a signature scent would be one step for me to get closer to knowing, justifying myself. Bau parfum itu bisa meng-ignite mood orang yg make, so I chose Clinique simply because of the name and the kind of mood it ignites (all the rubbish that I've mentioned above).

Dan otw, while getting to know me better, molding myself into the kind of human being I wishes to be, otw juga I learn to position myself in a community, know what I can do for them, for gw rasa it would be a great thing if you could do something for your community, affect them, family, office-colleagues, friends, in a good way.

Everybody has their own preferences in how they live their life, what their goals, and dreams are, what kind of person they want to be. And included in all of those extensive decisions, to choose the kind of perfume they wear. So that's one of the things that've been in my mind as I drove myself to the Twenty-Something Coastline..

ini asli gw yg nulis!!

hweh.. kaco ´kali.. knapa jadiny email2 aneh bisa masuk k blog gw?? =\ padahal udah ganti address berapa kali.. kok masih bisa nyelonong??!!

apa dinon-aktifin aja ya fiturny? ato malah dibiarin? heheh.. jadiny lucu blog gw isinya email2 spam semua :D ga perlu repot2 posting deh..


Ref. Number: 132/756/4577
Batch Number: 638901527-BC67
We are pleased to inform you of the result of
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