hit by emotional wave

too much coffee is not good for my emotional stability :D
neither is listening to rock/emo station too much
reading the news (most news = bad news, geez)
and Foer's novel
(did i ever mention that this novel is truly heartbreaking? in every sense?)

..emotional load is too big..

belom lagi besok berangkat
i'll b seein my family again
(altho my bro is still in Papua)
and my grandma just passed away

n i wont b seein you for 2 weeks
i want you to know that despite our difference i still want to work it out
i wont apologise for me being different
i promise that i'll do my best to support you

instead i will apologise for not really keeping my promise
i compromise too much, me with almost everything

n we hv to postpone the chase to level 50 :D

4 days and counting...

it was a rainy day
5 pm and i was walking out from Scheltema. gaving up the search for Mother Theresa's biography. i went to 3 bookstores, the American Book Center, Atheneaum, Scheltema, none had that book. They had instead biographies on Mao, Marie Antoinette, Hillary Clinton, i guess it's not the season for Mother Theresa. (sorry, Mother)

not so long after that Citra called and asked me to come to the restaurant ASAP. coz they were not enough people that day. me boyfriend asked for a day off.

in 15 minutes i arrived at the restaurant. after i hung my coat, i checked my mobile n saw that there was 1 unread message.
so i read it.
it was from Mum
telling me that my grandma passed away
yes, she had been ill for 2 months already
and i wished i could see her before, before this happens
but in fact i wouldnt be able to see her

i felt
not really sad, because although how much i regret our distanced relationship, i could not help not feeling sorry.
i had this thought that myb i could mend our relationship when im there. but apparently God would not give me the chance for us to do so.
and i know feeling sorry does not help

even as i read Yasin last night
i was not sure whether i read it for her or for myself
i was not sure if reading yasin could help anyone who's business in the world is done
well okay, if im someone's holy, myb it helped. but i am not. i need the prayers as much as my grandma did.
but finally i read for both of us.
n i prayed strength for those who felt really sad (my dad, my auntie, my uncles, n others that really felt the loss).

on times like these me the ignorant human being felt how fragile we all are

the mood ring

i iseng-ly installed a 'mood ring' button on my google-firefox toolbar.

for 3 days in a row it had been surprisingly accurate :p

Do you have the time to listen to me whine
About nothing and everything all at once
I am one oh those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone no doubt about it

puttin life to a pause

im going back to indo next week
7 days
n counting

for a couple of days i've been trying to imagine what my mum would say. probably she'd complained about my long hair and un-treated face :p and how chubby i've become.

i have no clue as for what i am going to do in jakarta.
all i know is that im going to see my family again, that's the most important thing.

n then some friends already booked some of my days to spend some time with them.

it's not going to be a long stay. i will travel back to NL on the 17th. back to the real harsh world xp

i've got payments need to be made. tasks need to be done.

and i gladly put them all to a pause, cause i'm goin home :p

in-denial birthday party

finally 11 february kmrn, ulma jadi juga ngumpul2 bareng anak2
setelah agak panik minggu2 sebelumnya
(ulma baru belanja hari sabtu sebelum kerja.. pulang kerja masak rendang smpe jam 5.30 am (ditemani uda).. 11.30 am dah di elvin, lanjut bikin gulai iga+nangka muda :P)
dan being in-denial of own's birthday
anak2 hollendrecht alhamdulillah dateng semua.
walo vina, prima dan citra had to leave earlier.
alhamdulillah elvin berbaik hati mau dipinjam rumahnya buat makan2
alhamdulillah to my nice friends yg mau masak DAN meng-kado.
makasih buat mak ipte buat s.g buncis dan dadar telornya yg enak.
makasih buat isrina buat s.g ati+kapri-nya dan erm that beef-with-green-pepper thingy
thx for vina n citra yg udh bawa slagroom taart w/ chocolate sauce :D
thx for mba aini n her husband buat cool water packetnya. maaf sy lupa klo suami mbak vegetarian :p
terimakasih prima ..yg lg d indo.. for the novel :D
i thought i've read it but apparently i havent :D
The one that I read was The Sands of Time, a prequel to the one that you gave me :)
love hermux tantamoq :)
terimakasih lagi buat ifta n rina for the pants :D
thx for aji dan tiki yg udh nolongin masakin nasi
thx for yussi, haryo, daniel, and lia for being there
xie xie mr. stephen chow for the entertainment :D

n last but not least. thank you my hunny bun bun for being very nice, helpful n supportive through the whole time ^^

Music Mayday New Year Party 2007

This's what the flyer looked like:


and here's a link for pics

a little description..

ruben (left) the MM - Chief Executive, initiator of the whole MM idea
karin (right) MM-Netherlands' Country Manager (an Aquarian too!)

Jorien, kerja freelance di MM-NL, nice girl. one of my colleagues that i can feel comfy with.

Marijn as bouncer, the party coordinator. anak HoInho Haarlem jurusan Media n music Management. skrg lg d Norway. Dia dulu pernah pacaran sama Anna Marie. anak taon gw, comm juga, tp quit wktu taon ke-3 klo ga salah. That girl klo pake baju, warnanya ngalah2in karnaval Mardi Gras. hehe

Abel. anak surinam HoInho Comm Mngmnt. temen berantem d kantor

yg di tengah: Gavan. freelancing d MM juga. wktu itu jd host. dlm kehidupan sehari2nya orang ini SANGAT hiperaktif

this is marijn n his gf. they've been together for 3 yrs. both penggemar hard-techno (not really my type of music)

this is Ninthe. salah satu performer. she do soul n R&B n this girl could really sing! in the end i can say that her performance was the only one that i could enjoy that night. bakal ngeluarin album tahun ini.

my new hero ^^

From Wired News
she's only 21 y.o.
162 cm
weighed 43 kg
But she can eat 183 pieces of sushi in half an hour and down 20 pounds of food in one sitting.

Sone is the newest celebrity sensation among Japan's long line of champion competitive eaters -- or "food fighters," as the entertainment industry calls them -- and a rising star on YouTube.

Presented with a gigantic bowl on a weekly variety show, Sone says, "I can eat this easily!" The human food vacuum takes a pair of chopsticks and digs into the 20-pound tub of curry, noodles and rice. For the next hour, the crowd looks on as her slender hand carries giant gobs of food from bowl to mouth. When asked how she's doing, she simply says: "This is delicious!"


racism in japan

"Oi Nigger!
Don't be touching a Japanese girl's ass!"

meanwhile conflicting Palestinians leaders (from the Hamas movement - including Palestinian Prime minister, Ismail Haniyeh - and Palestinian President, Mahmoud Abbas from the rival Fatah faction) are now sitting down in Mecca, answering King Abdullah's invitation to try to come out with a peaceful resolution for the outbreaking public clash that has already tolled 80 lives since December. People feared that it could be a start of a civil war (LIKE THE WORLD NEEDS MORE WAR)

di Jakarta n surroundings, air sudah mulai surut. Dan nampaknya tak terjadi penjarahan seprti biasanya (para oportunis tak bermoral), namun demikian pihak kapolda mengaku telah menangkap seorang warga yg mengirimkan SMS hasutan yg mengajak si penerima SMS menjarah rumah2 kosong (iseng amet.. ngeSMS2)

The future for Orangutans is not looking bright either, palagi klo bukan gara2 illegal logging di Sumatra n Borneo sono...

n talk about orangutans.. hari ini para pria d kantor lebih smelly dr biasanya =S
ga tau knp. pa gara2 dingin ya, jd pd lebih jarang mandi =S
sumpe de..
i thank God that i have a non-smelly boyfriend.
even though at times when he hasnt taken a shower for a week
it's love baby.. heheh
and hereby i report that on Tuesday 6th 3.11 pm, ulma is a witness to a snow fall in Amsterdam.. yay :)

good morning..

Jakarta dan sekitarnya, masih ujan aja.. blm berenti dr 1 feb kmrn.. here n there tanah longsor.. :(
(why it had to b on that day?)
i remembered that Thursday, langit terang padahal udh jam setengah 6.
kyk bukan winter.
altho today, we were all reminded by the fact that the cold season is not yet over.
suhu ngedrop lagi.
even kata elvin td pagi salju (me woke up, snow was already gone, bahkan ga keliatan bekasnya sama sekali.. hehe)

di atas tu flood map dr United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (OCHA) tgl 4 feb kmrn.
(altho ga sebegitu ngerti juga, knp angka deathnya dikit? bukannya d berita udh sampe 29?)

ujan yg blm berenti2 juga bikin operasi clean-up susah. dah gitu blm ancaman penyakit2 kayak diare, skin diseases, (dek.. jangan berenang2 d situ yak)
other sources:
chicago herald news
new york times
Associated Press
God please help them.. Just heard yesterday as well klo ada bbrp temen yg rumahnya jg kebanjiran.. hwa..

n Kalla wants to rule in the "One Child Policy" in Java.. wat de.. -.- dah kayak d RRC aja.. (news in Bahasa). And I quote from him, "Bahkan, agar sejahtera penduduk Papua bisa memiliki lima anak," HAHAHA.. that is so ridiculous.. u have a lot of homework to do! more important than telling ppl on how many kids they should have!

BTW.. recently in Sittenssen, Germany ada massacre gtu. gaya2nya kayak gang triad. 6 org cina diikat dan dibunuh di dalam restoran. Ada korban ketujuh yg masih idup wktu ditemuin, tp terus di rumah sakit meninggal...omG kayak di film2 aja sih. korbannya tu satu keluarga, pemilik restoran cina, mrk tinggal d atas restoran itu. ada 1 anak kecil yg selamet, tp mungkin dia shock gtu jdinya ga bisa terlalu ngebantu penyelidikan.. hooo.. (bbc link)

now from the lighter side of life:
this guy had just recently sent me a friend request.. heheh.. me think he is kinda wacko n a bit like a g****o

Gala Apple, Pinto Peach, Pluot and Nectaplum. The new cross-hybrid fruits!

belanda tenggelam

sea level bisa diadjust..
klo aer laut naek 1m aja.. belanda dah tenggelem.. yikes :S

*low productivity*

males T_T

'tis not the season..

to be happy and joyful
it almost seems that
there is no good reason to be happy anymore

in my mind right now is
how to help my country
what can i do to make it better
so many bad news back home
incompetent government?
demoralized country-men?

the in-denial girl

nice article about biofuel in indo.
radiohead cover song by the flaming lips (knive out) and damien rice (creep.. yeah, i should've guess :D) from ateaseweb.com

had nice birthday :D
the full moon was there (Shamanistic banget sih :P)
got a bouquet of ROSES PINK AND WHITE from my colleagues xD
and paket alat mandi DOVE *blush*
(gara2 gw jarang mandi kali ya :D)
n a birthday card
yg gw tempel d monitor komputer gw

chauft gave a cherry-filled brownies cake, whipped cream and chocolate pieces on top on the midnight of 1st.
d kantor makan2 tart appel roomboter dan mocca slagroom

dah gtu kita malemnya JADI bikin rendang.. haha.. selese jam 2 pagi
makan..smbil liat stephen chow. but ulma fell asleep after 15 minutes. ngantuk :D

dan saya masih in-denial.. at least smpe the 11th ;)
but i mean, most human are in-denial. Tolong deh Pak.. itu Global Warming emang jelas2 salah manusia..

more today:
i want to see daniel radcliffe naked
Deathly Hallow on 21 July

Jakarta banjir
please please please.. i hope my family is okay...