..Now the caffeine doesn't work..

gile ngantuk :p

This morning saya:
-balas emailnya Lina
-baca2 berita
-send more emails
-minum 2 cangkir kopi (kopi ethiopia campur douwe egberts :p black, 3 cubes of sugar :p)
-minum 1 cangkir teh rooibos
-edit stuffs
-ditelp. nyokap (she's worried coz i hvnt sent any news back home for weeks.. sorry mum :( ndak ada pulsa neeehh xp)

things that made me stop from work:
the article bout Indian clercks resignation on Quran polyphonic ringtone - "Al Quran tu bukan buat lucu2an!"
Java gas pipeline blasts :( - terrible, terrible. skrg body countnya 10 instead of 7
the death of the ex-KGB Alexander Litivenko (jd inget Alias ..)
cuban-style RADIOHEAD - HIGH N DRY :D - enak ^^
dutch election - what kind of coallition will come out..?
what's a giant squid doing in the middle of a parking lot? :p (with a drinking bottle beside it)

edit: nov 30 06 wtf kok jd gambar iklan gitu??

ini gambar yg benar, saudara-saudari:

This is fun

hancik :D
this thing is so cool
gw baru tau ada "Google Trends"
I typed 'Friendster' and 'My Space'

search volumenya sih, emg my space lbih tinggi.
news reference buat friendster was on a peak at the beginning of 2006

1. Makati, Philippines

2. Manila, Philippines

3. Quezon City, Philippines

4. Pasig, Philippines

5. Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

6. Bandung, Indonesia
7. Jakarta, Indonesia

8. Petaling Jaya, Malaysia

9. Singapore, Singapore

10. Pleasanton, CA, USA

it prooves that org filipin lbih demen FS, dan anak2 bandung lbih gila FS drpd anak2 jkt :D hehehe

How do the Cities, Regions, and Languages tabs work?

When the Cities tab is selected, Google Trends first looks at a sample of all Google searches to determine the cities from which we received the most searches for your first term. Then, for those top cities, Google Trends calculates the ratio of searches for your term coming from each city divided by total Google searches coming from the same city. The city ranking you see on the page and the bar charts alongside each city name both represent this ratio. When cities' ratios are fairly close together, the corresponding bar graphs will be roughly the same length, and the exact ranking between these cities is less meaningful.

The Regions and Languages tabs work just like the Cities tab. Google Trends uses IP address information from our server logs to make a best guess about where queries originated. Language information is determined by the language version of the Google site on which the search was originally entered.

Keep in mind that instead of measuring overall interest in a topic, Google Trends shows users' propensity to search for that topic on Google on a relative basis. For example, just because a particular region isn't on the Top Regions list for the term "haircut" doesn't necessarily mean that people there have decided to stage a mass rebellion against society's conventions. It could be that people in that region might not use Google to find a barber, use a different term when doing their searches, or simply search for so many other topics unrelated to haircuts that searches for "haircut" make up a very small portion of the search volume from that region when compared to other regions.

Trus nyoba type in 'world of warcraft' sama 'guild wars'.. ya as predicted WOW lbih tinggi search volumenya.

google, yahoo, msn: heheh ternyata search volume yahoo punya paling tinggi.. google ga malah paling rendah. why? soalnya org2 pke google, ngapain search google lagi? :p *asal*

top language: french

blogger, wordpress, typepad, blogdrive: blogger highest in search volume,dan wordpress juga climbing pelan2. blogdrive baru muncul graphnya awal 2005. with top cities from Brazil n Singapore

paris hilton, lindsay lohan, britney spears :P
graphnya kejar2an mepet2an gitu, both search n news volume. tp d awal taun 2005 "the search for" paris hilton peaked quite high ninggalin yg dua.

kbanyakan yg nyari org australia (hoo.. g'day mate.. seneng gosip banget kali ya org2 d situ)..dan mrk rata2 look for miss hilton. cuma di venezuela yang punya rating britney spears lbih tinggi ngalah2in paris.

oh iya, top languages:
1. Turkish

2. Swedish

3. English
hwahahah.. kok bisa....

These things that i want to know

i know you're busy
it's just these things that i need to know
to give me strength
to still hv confidence
in our "relationship"

what do you want of us?
do you still see me n you only temporary?
do you see/do you want this to have a future?

clapping with one hand is not working
do you want me to wait for something?
or will this be going for ever n ever?

i know im busy too
but i always think of you
and too much thinking without doing nothing
depressed me
thats why im always mad with no real reason lately

are you enjoying having a relationship like this?
we rarely talk to each other
(even if we do, its very to the point and business-like)

i don't get to see you as often as i like anymore
you're not here when i need you the most
and im not sure if u ever feel the same

i told myself over and over again
not to think too much
but situation is changing
cant you see?
i don't mind changes
as long as i can still see the final goal, and be okay with it

we need to talk

do you still want the same things like you do 9 months ago?
when you first asked me to be your girlfriend?
(we missed the 9 month anniversary, successfully.. i had told myself not to make a fuss about it, coz i know u don't
and it breaks my heart knowing that I REALLY could forget about it =/
i don't want to be like this :( )
does this relationship meet your expectation?
do we need to change something?

please, you're in a relationship now
what you do also concerns other people, me
your plans for your life will affect mine too
better said good-bye to it if you don't want it anymore :S

i want in everything we do,
to have a purpose
what's the purpose of loving someone, having a relationship?
are you sure its that?
yeah.. i don't feel supported right now :S
i know you supported me financially
but that's not what a boyfriend's MAIN TASK is

aku tau mungkin kmu ngerasa udh jd pacar yg baik
dgn ngingetin aku segala macem

but please give me something
that i can hold on to
or else this would just fade away

those things i want to know
those things i cant just ignore n leave behind and go

somebody already broke my heart

it's not fair
everytime im angry,
everytime i thought that i almost explode

then i hear your voice
that anger evaporates
i no longer hv any reason why i should hate you
or why i should be angry at the first place


You came along when I needed a savior
Someone to pull me through somehow
I've been torn apart so many times
I've been hurt so many times before
So I'm counting on you now

Somebody already broke my heart

Here I am
So don't leave me stranded
On the end of a line
Hanging on the edge of a lie
So be careful and be kind

If someone has to lose, I don't want to play

No, no I can't go there again


klo emg perasaan berubah
mo diapain lg
u told me all the time
dont need to tell me again

fine, what do u want now?

Buy Nothing Day - ADBUSTERS.ORG

Buy Nothing Day - ADBUSTERS.ORG

on 21-22 november culture jammers ask people to have a "buy nothing day". ada yg mo ikutan? :D

di Indonesia juga ada yang nyelenggarain. organizernya KUNCI Cultural Studies Center, Yogyakarta.

and .. an indonesian blog dedicated around this purpose: kisah belanja orang indonesia

people come and go...

just received three sad news:
- Valen's dad passed away, hope she got there on time
- Beni's dad passed away a week ago (beni is itha's, my bestfriend since junior high, boyfriend)
- The wife of my dad's acquaintance. Both are(were)only 24, and had been together since high school T_T

semoga yang ditinggalkan diberi kekuatan dan petunjuk, semoga yang meninggalkan diberi pengampunan dan diterima di sisi Nya (amin)

"Sterkte, Val.."
hehe.. congratz vin.. for your story :D

si ganteng #2

biar adil :p

si ganteng juga nih

see.. im a nice girlfriend :)

that was at paris half-a-year ago, and boy he did loose some weight now.

si ganteng <3

this is
si sutradara yg mencerahkan hari saya ketika video-shoot moodclip music mayday

kayak john cusack gtu ga sih? :p

tampak atas <3

ohhhh *faint*

bisa ketemu lg ga ya *dreamy eyes*

other photos can be seen here

neah no pictures of me.. tenang aja.. hehehe (the camera hates me :P)

ntar klo ad yg pke jaket item dan kupluk putih, itu Abel, kolega saya d sini, yg sama2 anak INholland itu.

hasil pergi ke IKEA

berikut adalah hasil dari kunjungan saya ke IKEA Amsterdam:
Lampu meja GRONO 4 EUR (tak jd beli lmpu dinding.. coz lampu dinding = ngebor
EH tapi
stelah saya perhatikan
ternyata d sekitar kabel listrik yg mencuat dr dinding itu
sudah ada lubang2nya >___________<
abis kan biasanya lampu yg d sini ga pernah terlalu terang.
dan skrg sy beli yg lebih terang
baru keliatan kl d situ udh ada lubangnya
tinggal nancep2 paku/sekrup doang
y udh next time, next time

bohlam lampu 40w 4 biji 2 EUR

karpet kecil (ahum,.. alas lantai) AGGER 70 X 130 cm 2 EUR

weker DEKAD 5 EUR

cermin TYDAL 5 EUR

tempat sampah WALLIS 1 EUR --> oh this is funny, IKEA actually sells cardbox with plastic pins that if folded and attached accordingly can transform into a waste basket..!

kursi JEFF 5 EUR

mousepad LAGIS 50 sen

tasnya ikea yg biru buat bawa semua di atas 50 sen

and now my room is een stukje beter en ik word ook een stukje blijer :D

why stuffs and wordly materials can make me happy?
oh i am such a material girl..
living in a material world..

tinggal gorden :(
tempat gw kayaknya ga mungkin pake panel-curtain coz.. well maybe bisa
agak maksa..
yg jelas mesti cari pengait2 itu dulu
td si ikeanya lg ga ada stok :(
but myb klopun ada, gw ga bakal mungkin beli semuanya juga
td tu gorden yg bisa dicantol ke pengait cuma beberapa jenis. dan yg paling murah 35 euro (2 stuks sih, dan bahanny emg tebal). warna+motifnya juga tak sesuai harapan. but yeah.. im still hoping that i can install the panel-curtains to my room. kan lucu tuh.

riviera sudah nangkring di PC. tinggal dimainkan :D

Abel akhirnya ngasi offer buat 2 free tickets to parties/concerts for max. 10 EUR per ticket as a compensation to last week's video-shoot.
Masi ndak tau mo liat apaan. tadinya wktu cuma dibilangin one ticket max. 15, pgn liat john van der slice (kpn hari jd band pmbukanya death cab for cutie d a'dam). tp ga jd gara2 eventnya hari rebo.

Trus stelah diganti dgn 2 free tickets instead of one. ohohoh.. brarti bisa ngajak bapak ^^
pgn liat jazz ..
know any good (n rather cheap :p) jazz gig anyone?

of curtains and lamps

this morning ketemu isrina
she was off to the bibliotheek
kmrn ngobs ma dian, how sad our life is T_T
(tp dian, ur life is more pathetic, hehe)
but remember: its only for 2 or 3 years, girl!

tiap rebo kemis jumat skrg ulm kerja d WAU, ngegantiin Vina

tempat baju kotornya prima masih d rumah

i sometimes see ifta online
wondering where chitra might be

my life's never far away from those hollendrecht girls :p

this morning Lina SMS-ed me. she was just back from my parent's house, celebrating my parent's anniversary.
how sad, wish i were there
jd pengen banget pulang :(

ayo ulma, nabung.. nabung
(duit perasaan abis mulu ni T_T)

kabar kamar baru:
harusnya kmrn k ikea, nyari lampu yg bisa dicolokkin ke colokkan yg ada di dinding, dan gorden.
tp kena bad-mood attack. apalagi klo bukan gr2 effin GVB T_T
dah ah.. tobat2.. abis ini beli abonemen.

jadiny pengennya entar sore k ikea (amin)

tp untungny kmrn dikasi pinjem lampu sama bu supervisor yg selalu ceria dan baik hati itu (myb rata2 cewe sagitarius begini?)
jadi kamar saya udh lumayan penerangannya
udh ada gba emulator juga hehe.. jd bisa maen ffta. (abis ini riviera). dah ada the urbz juga sih.
trus coba2 maen cake mania :p
trus dah donlot lagu2 juga
dan lately sy lebi suka denger yg ambient-jazz-acoustic-soft stuffs (even buddha bar). ga terlalu nge-RAWK..

besok dr jam 9am - 4 pm

gtu masi ngedenda org lagi T_T

ya anyway. pokoknya entar k ikea. beli gorden dan lampu
n i'll b happy..

Peter Parker says Hi again

9th of Nov
trailer spiderman 3 was officially launched

sebelum2ny teasernya juga dah liat sih .. love the venom suit
but still, is it just me, my screen, or the spiderman does look fat in those black suit?hmm.. tp kan harusnya item itu menguruskan.. apalagi pas liat waktu si black spiderman ngegantung kebalik, dan look at the reflection of himself dr jendela gedung, red-and-blue spidey. org yg d kostum spidey asli keliatan lbih kurus =S

dunno ah dunno.. ga penting.. yg jelas pengen liat Venom :D

other things: s3 official movie blog; short clips on mtv.com related to 'the making of s3'


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that coal mine in Essen

Waktu project DIESCOM akhir tahun lalu (omiGod.. sudah setahun yg lalu kah itu?)
me n anak2 taun ke-4 anak2 komunikasi yg lain pergi ke Essen, Germany.

Trus, wktu itu diajak juga ke "Tambang Batu Bara"
at first, sceptic lah..
idih apa2in sih.. ga elit banget tur kok k tambang batu bara.. heheh

mana disuruhnya bawa baju + jaket + celana + sepatu yg agak jelek, soalnya bakalan berlumpur d sana.

yaelah.. males banget dot de e (soalny lg d jerman)

Jd di tambang batu bara yg juga dinobatkan jd salah satu dari UNESCO World Heritage itu, kami dibawa berkeliling.
Spesialnya apa?
tu tambang dibangun tahun 1930, dan meng-employ 2 arsitek ternama ketika itu: Fritz Schupp dan Martin Kremmer (sorry, link ke wikipedia-nya temporarily only available in Deutsch)
Dan cara mereka mengkonstruksi seluruh kompleks tambang batu bara itu, menggunakan prinsip2 seni arsitektur. So.. tambang batu bara satu2nya di dunia yg "nyeni". CK ck ck..

dis is our pic when visiting the mine:

so anyway, memang manusia tidak pernah puas (sadap). ni tambang direnovasi lagi. the government there decided to appoint a Dutch Architecture Agent to rebuild the whole site. (gile salut de buat org belanda). the same agent who re-design seattle public library

yg jelas skrg tu tambang udh jd kayak gini:

anyway ck ck ck.. lagi..

(from wmmna)

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today .. eh yesterday was quite an interesting day..

sering klo pas pengen nulis, tp gara2 dah capek jdiny males.
lemme make some points:
#1 td tu udh binun mo ikut shooting moodclip ato engga. telp sana sini akhirny abel bilang klo kurang org
#2 studionya jauh bo! 30 min. walk from spaklerweg (incl.nyasar n bengong cari direction)
#3 anak2nya asik2
#4 sy jd pemain synthesizer! (fakin it tho)
#5 SUTRADARANYA TERNYATA GANTENG NAN RUPAWAN :D indo-blasteran gitu sih kayaknya, tinggi, langsing, matanya biru.. oohhh ga cakep2 amet emang, tp gw suka liat mukanya yg kalem tenang hohohoh ^o^
#6 gila my 1st video-shoot experience ever dah.
#7 sore ke WAU, dianter ma chidi (temen dr inholland yg jg gw ajak k situ)
#8 d WAU ketemu sm mas dimas dan mba novi yg ternyata telah menikah :p (baru tauu gw)
#9 tadi ada klanten yg cuma bayar 50 pdhl tagihannya 56,90 (doh -.-")
#10 dan skrg sy pusing

dah ah tidur


im tired of being by myself
im tired of being on my own
and the thing with my life is that it keeps on showing me the hope that 'i dont hv to be alone' while in the end it is always the same.
owh tired tired tired

di luar ujan tambah deres n i cant bring myself to go home
im still at the office.. c r y i n ' !
dats patetic
this mood swing im having is terrible

i got angry, sad, happy coming and going every 20 minutes or something.

lbih banyak depressednya sih T_T

caffeine oh caffeine.. i love you but you are not good for me...

and i dont want to go home =(


practice self-restraint
patience.. patience.. patience..

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nag nag

i hate naggers

and unfortunately my future-neighbour is one -.-

aw shucks

ah sudahlah..
you should practice to stop being gloomy/sad/depressed

try it for a week

"when i count to 10..

you will wake up
and everything that has just happened was only a dream..











ever think, where will you be?
if the whole time, everything that you thought was real, was just a dream? an illusion?

i'd do anything to turn back time
anything to re-boot my life
anything to forget him
anything to deny his existence

coz when u jumpd
i jumpd
lets jump together u said
n then suddenly
turns out ure on a bungee
while i hv nuttin
ow shit
im crash-landin
n ure hangin safely
f u


ya actually since hari jumat kemarin, im officially the renter of uilenstede 74-499.
But bcoz of this n that, baru pindahan.. emm possibly..entar sore
tp itupun blm total
paling yg esensial2 dulu. sperti: pakaian untuk a couple of days, slimut, sepre, bantal, dan toilettries.
kasur mnjem dr beni dulu (kamar unfurnishd). laptop terpaksa dtinggal dulu, but ad pc menanti d sana.
tinggal kabel LAN sih. umm i 4got whether the PC has a wireless card in it or not. klo ada ya bagus. i wont b lonely tonite xD
ah tapi d uilen banyak teman2 (dan kenalan2) juga sih. teman2 yg sy tak pernah temui kecuali klo kebetulan, or ada keperluan.
entar pindahan totalnya hopefully will b done sunday morning. dibantuin ma pak prim, the neighbour, yg udh sering bantuin anak2 hollendrecht pindahan :D

maunya sih td malem pulang, ngepak.
tp ternyata sy lbih tempted tuk nginep d elvin (lg)
"celebrating" amam's b'day
which was also an excuse to play w3.. heheh
we (tiki, aji, elv, me) tried to defeat a team of 3 computers: easy,normal,insane, after 2nd try (or was it the 3rd?) we gave up n decrease the difficulty: 3 easy computers in one team.

sayang UC the undead tak bisa maen.. klo ada dia myb we could defeat the easy-normal-insane.
terakhir kali elv maen jd undead. tp yah.. uc's the one who's the most familiar with those zombies/horror creatures.
aji human (terpaksa juga)
tiki night elf
dan sy orc sperti biasa. im still a noob jd klo pindah2 race entar trainingny tdk epektip. lagian sy comfy dgn orc. after 45 minutes dan gempuran dr tim lawan, elv gave up n quitted ( :( ). tp akhirnya kami be-3 berhasil mengalahkan para computer2 itu sih. sy tak terlalu berperan sprti biasa :p dikit2 lah .. (kali)
abis laptop yg sy pke juga entah knp nge-lag banget.. so many times i hv to stop doing anything n stare at the screen. paling sering nge-lag klo pas lg "banyak aksi", wktu lg ngegempur markas lawan, weeee... seketika dunia terasa lambat berputar.

sebelumnya maen campaign dulu sih. baru smpe act II. Rexxar, dan that witch troll ketemu sm jaina defeating nagas n trying to show her that a bunch of "humans" is trying to infiltrate the orc's territory, which was considered as a violation of the human-orc pact.

td pagi beli cappuccino d coffee company
tp ternyata i still prefer the office's ethiopian coffee :p yg ternyata lbih enak klo diminum tanpa susu
dan td pagi willem the carrot guy from NL office datang dan meminta kopi. dan dia mention klo kita emg slalu pke barang2 fair trade :p oho.. k k.. good good
as long as its not my money.. i hv no objection in consuming FT goods :D

verhuizing tonight
i prefer LAN party



Look at me,
I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree
And I feel like I'm clinging to a cloud,
I can't understand,
I get misty just holding your hand

Walk my way
And a thousand violins begin to play
Or it might be the sound of your hello, that music I hear
I get misty, the moment you're near

You can say that you're leading me on
But its just what I want you to do
Don't you realise how hopelessly I'm lost?
That's why I'm following you

On my own
Would I wander through this wonderland alone,
Never knowing my right foot from my left,
My hat from my glove,
I'm too misty and too much in love

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lets not write something depressing today

hari ini amam ultah (weee...)
and im trying to recover
of what reason still not sure

pagi ini nyampe kantor at 9.30 am, si african project manager, annelies de bruin dah ada. after greeting her i prepared some coffee. my office drinks ethiopian coffee, langsung dibawa dr ethiopia. ga tau sih apa mrk beli langsung dr petaninya, but i hope so. support fair trade ceritanya :D i mean klo organisasi2 mcm music mayday, sudah sepantasnya lah mrk supporting FT.
the communication & campaign guy, tom van de beek juga kerja buat fair food.

kemarin liat beras FT di albert heijn
buset mahal banget
250g for 1.17 euro klo ga salah

yah pls forgive me poor farmers, sy akhirnya beli beras albertheijn yg pandan, 1 kg for 90 cents
myb someday when im better of i'd buy those ft thingies

almost done with elvin's novel: murder on the gravy train by phyllis richman.
bener kata elvin, ni bukan novel detektif.
novelnya ttg good food and fine-dining ^^
with a touch of murder and scandal.

Chas Wheatley is a restaurant reviewer in washington
so she gets to eat at fine restaurants, and write about them
yg nulis novel ini juga restaurant reviewer, so... cara dia mendescribe makanannya cukup bikin ngiler =9~

the novelist tries to spice up the whole restaurant reviewing thing with murders, poisoned food, blackmailing, etc.
which i dont mind since the plot was convincing, tp juga ga sekeren agatha christie (or sidney sheldon dkk)
dan cerita ttg personal life-nya dia juga ga ngebosenin, ga terlalu exaggerated juga. Chas is mid-50's, widowed with one daughter, lily.

bagian akhir2 ini isinya how the whole scandal is unrolled
dan so far its not surprising
i prefer the eating and dining part better, heheh

i love books about food.
dulu wktu di tembagapura pernah nemu two, yg satu ngomongin daging (my year of meats by ruth l. ozeki), satunya roti (bread alone: a novel by judith r. hendricks.)

trus bbrp bulan yg lalu wktu nemenin kak dhanil cari oleh2 buat temenny di indo, kita juga nyari buku ttg kopi.
terus nemu "Black Gold: A Dark History of Coffee".

in short, ni buku nyeritain 'dark side'nya kopi (yg emg udh dark) , jd kayak the darker side of a dark thing -.-"
when something is popular, loved by a lot of people, and relatively cheap, like coffee for instance pasti entar banyak yg jd abusive towards it.. im talking about none other than "corporate greed"

yg jelas abis baca buku ini seorang pecinta kopi pasti mikirin lika-liku perjalanan bijih2 kopi dari saat dia di plantation, smpe ketika dituangin ke gelas styrofoam starbucks' misalnya.

karena itu, supportlah fair trade, hehe



it's tiring to cry,be angry,moan,whine at the same time
and it happens every month

help me im addictd
im addictd 2ur love
not its not a bad thing
its consuming my sanity
this is not healthy
why am i so ..
so addictd

i want 2 c u everyday
want 2 hear what u will say
on my clothes, my friends, the bills i hv to pay
its like every second its u i breathe
ur face is everywhere i see
and when u ignore me

feels like the world's coming to an end

im talking rubbish

can i save me from myself?