selingan di kala menggarap ef-di

selingan :)
Its a news article in the Observer about how SUXXOR game-based movies can be..
quoting from the columnist
...unlike cinema, computer gaming is a medium which requires the player to make things up for themselves...Cinema, on the other hand, is designed for people who like to watch and listen, and who expect the film-maker to get their story straight before the movie reaches the theatres.

The writer mentioned how audiences are nowadays just sit down and gulped down anything Hollywood gave them. He reflected back to the old times of narrative story-telling, audience interactivity in stage plays or for instance Dickens, who made his novels chapter per chapter published on Victorian journal corresponding to the inputs from the reader, and Shakespeare, who had his plays revised in front of / with the audience.

anyway, just read :p
i like Resident Evil 1 n 2 though.. but its myb bcoz they offred a variation of the storyline in the game, which (i think) succeeded in complementing it..

watchd NG n saw a program about HOGZILLA :D a 2,25 m hog n 350 kg.. temenny the giant rabbit I posted yesterday :D

tadinya si org yg nyebarin foto ngakunya kl tu babi 3,5 m n 450 kg.. tp pas tim NG meriksa.. ya ga sgitu.. babinya mutant.. kawin silang dr wild boar sama hampshire pig (hehe.. kisah romeo n juliet gtu.. dua jenis babi yg berbeda,.. satu babi pliharaan.. satunya babi liar.. oh, cinta.. :p eh lbih mirip kyk 'lady n the tramp' kali ya)

trus trus.. either si babi liar yg nrobos masuk kandangny si babi pliharaan, ato si babi pliharaanny yg ngabur trus kawin ma babi liar. well either way, si babi kmungkinan jd gede gtu soalny deket2 stu tu ada tambak ikan.. dan yg punya tambak itu tu ngasih makanan ikan yg tinggi protein, biar ikanny jadi gede2.. diduga si babi ikut makanin makanan2 yg buat ikan itu.. makany trus dia jd gede juga..

kesimpulannya: NG bikin dokumentasinya terlalu bertele2 dan sdikit over-dramatis, heheh..

I feel like I'm a 9 year-old girl trapped in a 21 year-old female body

A couple of days ago I was on my way to school, sitting inside the 53 metro at the very back. Nothing seems to be wrong then, except that I was the only Asian girl surrounded by 5 afro-surinamese and 1 Turkish teenage boys.. (berondong =9~) *eugh ulma, stop it -.-"

Those boys were like the miniature version of my stereotype of afro-surinamese (n some of the turkish) people. Covered in blings and all had this hip-hop/rap clothings, one kid even got a gold teeth (or brass.. i wasnt sure.. it was yellow n shiny.. spray paint myb? i dunno :p)
all boys got one or two pieces of "bling" earring (yo.. im pimpin my hommies..).. like i said bfore, a miniature version of the adults one. with braided hair, ada juga yg culry-wurly ngembang lucu gtu.. ada yang alisnya udh dicukur in a way that he had a garis putus2 eyebrow instead of one full line..

anyway, these boys were about 12-14 year-old (ABG..ABG..) n pas mreka duduk tu mreka ngobrol2 gtu. The conversation flow (translated to Bahasa)kinda went like this (nama yang digunakan bukan nama asli, red.):
alis putus2: eh tu cewe cantik (nunjuk ke luar metro)
anak curly-wurly: engga ah, kakaknya si "anak turki" tu lebih cantik
anak turki: (mesem2 smbil gigit2 kuku) --> gaya boleh bling bling tp tetep aja mereka anak kecil ^^
... (i missed this part of their conversation, coz i was concentrating on how to be invisible :p its hard, so i went back on listening) ...
ACW: (ngomong ke anak yg lain) Eh, kamu kan udah 16, udah dianggep dewasa dong, udah boleh ngapa2in
16 tahun: enggaaak... umur 16 tu masih dianggap baby, gw suka diejekin ma oom gw "alaah.. masih 16.. masih pake popok tuu.."
ACW: tp kan udh boleh beli alkohol2 gtu
16T: ya iya..
Alis putus-putus: berapa sih umur dewasa? 18 ya? ya kmu bentar lagi juga udah dewasa dong..
16T: gak juga.. yg dianggep dewasa tu umur 21.. gini lho, umur 18 tu, kmu udh boleh tinggal di luar, tinggal sendiri, tapi sebelum kmu umur 21, kmu tu belum dianggap dewasa, blm punya kuasa bener2 buat bikin keputusan sendiri
anak2 yg laen: (mengangguk2)

right apter that, the metro stopped at 'Verrijn Stuartweg', my stop so i got off from my bench n walkd outside. While i was walking i think about what those boys were talking.. gee.. i am 21.. udh harus sgitu zelf-standignya kah? cant i still rely on my parents? well ya, even so, with the life im having now, i rarely consultd my parents for my actions (except that decission on what should i do by the end of this term).

i also realized, just the day bfore, that i still acted like a small-kid. still want to run-away from problems, still be easily 'ngambek' or got hurt, feel mad when i couldnt get what i want, or if my plan didnt work out. suka sedih n take it veeerry personal kl dimarahin ato dikritik, (for stuffs that i thought i did my best at) even when i tried to be cool about it. still hv this high ego (i hvnt talkd with one of my housemates for weeks.. mostly coz im rarely at home now, dan kl gw d rumah pun dia ga pernah negor gw.. ya udh, gw juga males negor dia). still do stupid things n pretend that i hadnt known it was stupid :p

as i said to nie' n my bf, i think mentally, im not 21.. i dont feel like an adult, at all.. well the most bothering part is that, some part of me still want to be spoiled, still want ppl to obey me (n i tried hard to supress this one),and still does not want to take full-responsibility of anything.. i practically always try to run-away from that R word.

So yeah, i still hv to do a lot of "growing-up" ..gee, i hope He would help me..

klinci raksasa
on other topic, i just read this on national geographic:
klinci raksasa menyerang UK (kinda like wallace n grommit's new movie :D)
see the pic? gilee.. gede yah :S freaky de.. freaky.. trus knp itu tlinga cuma satu ya?
sayang klincinya msti dibunuh.. soalnya he's wrecking the plants and gardens of ppl there.. click here for the complete story.

dan sayangkuuu... maafkan aku yang telah mengganggumu..
tapi ku tak bisa tidur semalammm..
what i need was a good warm hug :p


kisah cinderulm yg sedang menunggu majikannya pulang

I've washed the dishes, put the two children to bed, and now i hv nothing left to do. I could work on the IC statement, but this home PC got no USB-port.. (my work is in a very handy usb-data stick) oh well it does, but they snug the CPU into this hole so its impossible for me to reach it.

i guess i'd just blab on what ive done today.

00.00 am - 02.30 am: Chat ma nia n elvin :p hehehe
02.30 am - 03.30 am: maen the sims
03.30 am - 11.00 am: tidur
11.00 am - 01.00 pm: melakukan hal2 setelah tidur dan sebelum beraktivitas keluar
01.00 pm - 03.00 pm: ke skul, ktemu lindsay di jalan (heran gw slalu ketemu dia gt..), balikin laptop, balik lg k tmpat bapak, makan roti (dan appelflap), cabut lg.. babysitting

04.00 pm - 8.30 pm : dipamitin ma majikan, gw ma anak yg plg gede baca + maen cangkul (yes epribodeh, i've taught her how to play cards).. si ibu nyuruh gw nyuruh si anak latian baca.. ma dia udh dibeliin komik winx club. Meanwhile gw jg disuruh ngasih makan yg kecil, she's 6 months old now n is learning how to eat from a spoon (pke makanan2 bayi itu.. yg lucu2 kombinasinya, such as kiwi n orange, rice-schotel with carrot and turkey, mango, banana and orange, etc. - even i like them =9~)

gw bikin deal ma anak yg gede, kl misalny dia menang, gw baca satu lembar, kl gw yg menang, dia msti baca. umm.. she won 3 out of 8 matches :p not bad loh for an 8-year old, hehehe.. (apa gw yg goblok yah -.-" tp sbenerny gw sngaja kalah lagi ma dia.. hehehe.. *yea rite)

bis itu, ngasi2 makan si kecil, smbil liat yg gd maen mario party 5 (she wanted to stop playing cards since she lost quite a lot, hehe). kl saja nyokapny tau.. huhuh.. gw ngasi makan tu bayi penuh paksaan gtu.. hehehe.. kl bisa sih awalny gw buat nangis dulu, tar pas dia mangap, makananny gw masukin ke mulutnya, tar si bayi batuk2.. trus gw sndokin aer.. dan dia nangis lagi.. mangap lagi.. ooop, there goes another spoonful of yummy baby porridge :p

8.30 pm - 9.30 pm: tried to put baby to sleep while the other one played dora the explorer on the internet

9.30 pm: put the big one to bed, but first she had to brush her teeth reeeaaalll good, kumur2 pke mouth-washer, n be read her bedtime story (winx club lagi). ni anak lg seneng tidur d ruang tamu gtu, hehe.. kocak deh. gw wkt kecil juga suka tidur d tmpat2 aneh gtu.. macam kolong tempat tidur, di sofa (sofa org laen.. wktu bertamu gt critanya), bath-tub, di wc... i had a fleeting thought about sleeping on the rooftop sih.. tp blm kesampean aja.. :P (ok ulma, done with exaggerating)

9.30 pm - 11.00 pm: washed the dishes (i dont hv to, tp drpd ga ada kerjaan.. sekaligus mengurangi perasaan "gaji buta"), turned on the computer, looked for the USB port, gave up, signed in msn messenger n yahoo, wrote an email to paulina, she's a close friend of my cousin whom i met at her (my cousin's) wedding.. very talkative but nice :p an english woman who is having a career as an english-teacher for children in Paris. Her email was titled 'HAPPY EASTER', so i thought it was just a greeting of some sort sent to every name in her addressbook, so i didnt open it until now. i was wrong :p well except for the greeting part. it was also a real email (the one that at least you need 3 minutes to think about an approriate reply, not just 'thank you, and yes im fine. hope you are too *smiley icon* take care, much love, bye bye'), sent to my cousins n me, n some of her friends, asking about a get-together at easter holidays (either in paris or in cologne)..

after that, chatted with elvin n nia.. we gonna go swimming on sunday.. ^_^ yippiee!
and saturday i can use nita's laptop (yeay..) to finish off our fd draft..!! (due monday)

opened vh1 radio and listend to some smooth jazz tune.

11.10 pm: almost done with blogging, a conversation window blinked, and still dont know what to do next *sigh*

help.. im a paranoid borderline dependent schizoid avoidant schizotypal!

Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 66%
Antisocial |||||| 30%
Borderline |||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Histrionic |||||| 26%
Narcissistic |||| 18%
Avoidant |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Dependent |||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||| 38%

Hmm.. Im high for 'Eccentric Personality Disorder', which is the first three.

Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.

Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.

Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.

Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.

I also scord high in Avoidant, Dependent and Borderline..

Avoidant Personality Disorder - individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism

Dependent Personality Disorder - individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior.

(those two are categorized as anxious personality disorder)

Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.

Gini deh hasil stress2/down ga jelas

(im not thinking negatively.. this is FUN..)

blow those dark clouds away..

hehe.. i was reading a post on my last weekend with two of my best friends here.. (pls refer to this and this) they asked the same thing:
where were we all these three years?

well, lets recap:
1st year - Ulma dan Nia sudah saling mengenal, krn sama2 anak komunikasi, mrk satu kelas. smpat brbagi affair :p (actually jadi dekat karena itu). Suka saling sleep-over, masak bareng.. (eh iya ga?) ulma mengenalkan muesli pada nia, kqkqkq.. Bagi ulma, elvin adalah this cewe sadis from Malang yang punya tatapan menusuk :p

2nd year - Things havent changed a lot. Ulma mngejar Nia ke Exeter, hehe.. Had dinner bareng d Hollendrecht, Ulma masih saja sekelas sama bu Nia :D
Elvin? Elvin masih dianggap sebagai wanita judes dan mengerikan -__-" .oh ya.. dan "rese'" (remember six flags Vin? :D)

3rd year - Everybody went different tracks, ulma spent half year d indo, n half year menyendiri d utrecht. Nia spent a year in NL, working at a Christian organization, kita taon ke-3 ga pernah ketemu ya Ni? only a couple of times we talked on the phone, via msn.. nia pergi on holiday k indo.. smpet pindah2 rumah juga bbrp kli :D oh iya, we met once in Utrecht :D heheh

Elvin.. ulma baru deket ma elvin taon ke-3 :D menemani hari2 saya ngantor, and put sparks n colors in my life :p kqkqkq.. elvin mengunjungi saya d utrecht, mmbawa beras, dan dan.. pelm2 :D hehe.. dan ulm juga pertama kalinya menapakkan kaki di logger 94 aka sarang penyamun :p
well awal taon ke-3 si elvin juga mengundang sy k ultahnya dia :D masih tinggal d westwijk wkt itu, n i bought her a detergent!!! hahahah!
n i started to think, "hey.. myb she isnt that bad" :p (i was WRONG :D) -jk

4th year - Ulma dan Nia lagi2 sekelas :p (ga bosen lu Ni?) andd... fast forward.. its april n we were busy with our FD. dan.. dan.. i guess starting pointnya, nia mngunjungi blog elvin,ngasih komen.. dan semenjak itu mrk bales2an testi, slg chat.. terus baru nyadar kalo .. er.. kalo mereka rada setipe :p (sdikit "kadal", kdg tak tahu malu :p, dan tipe2 wanita independen + pjuang gtu deh, kqkqkq)

Puas gak flashbacknya? :p

all of us agree, it was a weekend full of fun and laughter.. a 2 days relief from the stress n burden from school, current relationship(s), work, ppl, the world, war, (cieh.. global concern gt critanya) etc. etc.
Yes, we were Happy Three Friends, and of course it was my first times for many things as well (the wagamama, the filmmuseum, and the dove-photosession..) and it was also a reminder that thankfully (i always wonder why) i am still blessed with sheer joy, happiness and fun with ppl that i feel comfortable with, ppl that i can count on.. its been a long time since i had a real fun :D
Most of them my fault, really..

Group hug.. :D

Aqualung - (2)

need to know.. i don't wanna know
already know... i've seen the signs
i watch you as you pull yourself away from me

can't believe.. i wanna believe
how can i believe?
.. you're making me doubt
i thought i knew you, i don't even know myself

i'm losing faith.. i'm losing all faith

you're breaking my heart.. breaking my heart
you're breaking my heart again
don't ask me to start.. ask me start
don't ask me to start again.. start again

i wanna fight..
afraid to fight
why don't i fight? and make you see
i hold my breath, and disappear inside myself

i'm losing.. strength, i'm losing all strength

you're breaking my heart..
breaking my heart

you're breaking my heart, again..

don't ask me to start,
ask me to start..
just don't ask me to start, again..
start again..

i'm losing.. you
i'm losing,
oh,.. you

Paru-paru Air - Ga bisa ngeluarin kamu dari kepala saya (ya iyalah..emg athena.. lahir dr kepala zeus)

A kiss, is not just a kiss. A smile, is more than a smile. Maybe we get.. together,
Maybe.. forever
Maybe just for a while

I've seen the look in your eye. I've seen you wondering why. There's a centre of gravity..
Brings you near to me
Nearer all the time

And I'm petrified..
Every time, you walk by..
And I can't get you, Out of my..

Thought you'd never be mine..
I thought I was wasting my time

Darling, every time I think of you, I can't believe it's true
That you're here by my side..

sedikit jijay ..

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You tend to take more than give in relationships.

You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered.

You're secretly hoping your partner will change for you.

You are fickle and tend to fall out of love easily. You bounce from romance to romance.

hehe im such a bad lover :p
So it took me a while to fall in love.. but on the same time im fickle n tend to fall out of love easily :D
bounce from romance to romance... xD
ampun dah..