stupid v.2 :p

a guest was eating gule kambing
after he finished he asked: "Zijn er lams in Indonesie?" (di Indonesia ada domba gak?)

without thinking i said: "Ja.. 'tuurlijk" (Yes, off course)

split seconds later i realised that.. i dont think lambs can live there -.- it's effin 30 degrees!

but i decided to stick with the story n said: "Ja, maar zij leeft alleen in koudere plekken.. en hun vacht zijn niet als dik als het lams hier" (iya, tp mereka tinggalnya di tempat2 yg dingin, trus bulunya ga setebel domba sini -.-)

the guest just nodded.. hehe.. dia kali mikirnya "ni orang bego banget sih".. i hope he's drunk enough to believe me.. mango juice drunk xD

bego sebego2nya bego deh..

to entertain myself n forget how stupid i am is the newest comic con trailer of watchmen.. yay..

1250 days

Go off to sleep in the sunshine.. I don't want to see the day when it's dying

what type is this blog?

The analysis indicates that the author of is of the type:

ESFP - The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don't like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

They enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.

Note: writing style on a blog may have little or nothing to do with a person's self-perceived personality.

nyahahahaw hahahawww...

found it from here

things that im reading *yawn*

so there are FIVE books that are currently in my reading list
seriously for you who might b interested,this is not interesting at all. i wish i hv juicier stuffs to post but sadly no. what's with the emotional wave thingy? is it done yet? yes.. it's over. thank you for asking.

  • first is the collection of short stories by the late Indonesian author A.A. Navis. The book is Iko's who kindly lent it to me so that I can share his fondness to this particular author. Well I think this guy's brilliant. His stories have unexpected twists and endings. And he has his own way of story-telling. He avoids using difficult words or jargon and over-dramatisation. I'm still at his 14th story -.- one story away from his masterpiece, "Robohnya Surau Kami". My favourite so far was about this pregnant woman, who, amidst of her nature being over-suspicious to everything, tried to, for once, put her trust to ...a beggar and her mute-son n baby. because she's pregnant, and she doesn't want a bad karma will happen to her unborn child. so she let the beggar to work for her as a house-maid, and this one evening she n her husband decided to go out. Then they saw this kid, who looks like the son of the woman working at their place, but.. the difference is, this kid isnt mute. he was telling a story to a group of amused street people (beggars, peddlers, and the like).. that he's been peeping whenever this woman's taking a shower, n he made fun of her big pregnant stomach, and that he is never the son of the woman-beggar (that at that time might already swiped clean all of the couple's valuable belongings)... and the story ends with the pregnant woman fainted and gave birth prematurely -.-

  • Watchmen.. still on page 24 :p Rorschach was investigating of what seemed to be a normal murder. But he found out that the murdered man was The Comedian, a government-sanctioned superhero after the Keene Act that bans superheroes, is passed. Got introduced with the rest of the characters (Ozymandias, Nite Owl I & II, Silk Spectre II, and Dr. Manhattan). Rorschach already deduced that there might be somebody who wanted revenge on masked heroes...

  • Rahasia Meede was E.S. Ito's second novel (he's born at 1981 -.- his first novel was published in 2005 .. he was 24 -.- dammit). It's about chain-murders, an underground city below "the Old City"-part of Jakarta (Batavia), a historian from Leiden Universiteit with a *ahum* secret mission, to discover VOC's treasure (yeaah Vereenigde Oost-Indische Compagnie..) Its funny that im reading it here. Feels, close and far away at the same time.. so yeah the novel isnt like any kind of novels by Indonesian authors out there right now (not chick-lit,teen-lit or othr kinds of -lits, not stupid romance novel, not pornographic novel, not sci-fi wannabe novel, n not this-is-art-damn-it novel). its dan brown-ish but not quite :D but yea, he seemed to couldnt really avoid the "romance and sparks" bits. its unnecessarrryyyyy.. but anyway, a good read :D

  • Guns, Germs and Steel.. this book's heavy -.- Chauft bought it for me.. last year i think.. At first i didnt even want to know how many corn species there were in the old world. so i skipped to more interesting chapters, like the spread of food and produce cultures and why some people, like the aborigines and the Papuans, stick to hunting and gathering. but then felt there were missing pieces of information so i retreatd n bear myself to reading the corn species.. now im already in chapter 16, the part that explained where Indonesian people came from (we're from South China.. so yeah.. im chinese :p). what is this book about actually? it's 'A Short History of Everybody for the Last 13,000 Years'. That short history is explained in 480 pages.. o_O

  • Critical Mass..just finished chapter one :p its like the sequel of Guns, Germs and Steel, Critical Mass is what the society do after they realise that they ARE a society, a group of people with a political system and hierarchies..explained in a mathematical way o_O so first chapter was Hobbes and Leviathan, and the introduction to the concept of utopia and commonwealth.

    AND on the (PC) playing list are:
    The Last Shadow Puppets - Meeting Place
    Arctic Monkeys - Baby I'm Yours.. the first signs of Turner's getting mellow, and perhaps the spawn of The Last Shadow Puppet idea. The song was originally sung by Barbara Lewis, i believe..
    Cat Power's live (Black Session) in Paris, digging her soulful voice..
    Detektivbyrån - lovin their dreamy, catchy, electronic, instrumental love-making stuffs. and the accordion.. cant hv enough of accordions:p
    Some stuffs by Kings of Leon (of course)
    Metric (Cat Power + Yeah Yeah Yeahs :D)
    And in my mp3 player is a playlist consisting of Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, Deftones, and A Perfect Circle.. to balance the "mellow" pc playlist :P

    i know there shud b links n references here n thereeee buttttt im not in the mood -___-" besides.. u can always google..
    and this doesnt mean that im not aware of what happened in India or other places in the world but i dont like to post about really2 scary and sad stuff -.- n theres already a lot of commentary out there anyway..
  • the worst feeling ever

    is when you hurt someone you really care, you realise you are actually also hurting yourself
    and the fact that the person is hurt, hurts you also,
    n then you blame yourself coz you let it happen, which makes it worse,
    and it breaks the both of you.
    and it hurts you so,
    and then before you know it, you're swallowed by an endless spiral of hurt feelings

    time will heal, they say..
    time will heal..

    logic drops in,
    he said, "everybody is responsible for their own life"

    so dont run away,
    when will you stop running?

    im sorry i met u, darling

    cant think properly for the time being so i just post this =p post title's from last shadow puppet's meeting place
    ngga.. ga maksud cheesy, but im feeling so cheesy right now.. so keju...

    musings at 12

    reading watchmen the graphic novel is goin to be pretty awesome. was reading its wikipedia entry the other night, to find out more about the history and such. so watchmen were actually anti-hero, they dont really have super powers, except dr. manhattan. (the blue guy on the right. yes he's nekked :p) cant wait to read it.. im gonna hv to finish one of the five books im currently reading. i think haddon's the one im finishing first.. since its not that thick. but it could also be diamond's coz im almost at the end.. cant believe i really gonna finish that thick book full of historical knowledge of human society -.-
    here's the website for the movie, n here's the link to watchmen reading companion

    si cemplon's post stirred something inside. but i dont know what. anyhow, its not her being introverted, it shows actually that she's an extrovert. an extrovert doesnt really bother about her inwards feelings or emotions like introvert ppl. so thats why my blogs r about feelings n thoughts n musings about whats inside my head or heart. coz thts what introvert ppl do. they like to think inwardly, and kinda forgot the sunshine and flowers outside :D and cemplon is a girl that's totally okay with herself and spend her energy more to the outside world :D

    and a yoghurt thats not kept in fridge for 3 days will have a layer of transparent liquid on the top, and a thicker yoghurt xD tastes really sour n i dont think its edible :p thanks for nie n elv who forbid me from eating it.

    yesterday i said to myself to try not to give up on situations n conditions. being too flexible is not always good. im always like "oooh i wonder where's life taking meeee..." im getting older so at least i hv to start having a course on my own life. im sorryyyy im just used to leave everything to the rest n not taking initiatives for my own life.

    and when i realised this it might b too late? >< if im getting married doesnt that mean somebody else is going to hv the control to my life?

    surprised how my brother has grown -.- was browsing his page and yeah.. :p and its only his page.. xD

    travel log :p eurodisney, paris

    monday nov 10th (preparation)
    TG ga harus kerja today, jd bisa relaxing n siap2 buat besoknya, so i went to albert heijn bought some snacks. TK dateng around 8pm. Had dinner together with left-overs from long pura :p he tried to sleep, n i tried to be really quiet, but then around 10.30 the girls (prima n penny) came back from work. after 3 hours of laughters, fussing around with packing, picking dresses, we all went to bed. me n prima slept at etta's place while penny n tk used our beds.

    tuesday nov 11th
    3 hours of deep sleep n i was awaken by tk's phone call. lookd at the time n was surprised it's already 5 minutes to 5am -.- planned to wake up at 4 to take a shower n final check ups.. but yea.. abandoned shower plans, siap2.. 30 minutes later the 4 of us snuggled comfortably in tk's vw ludo.

    the trip was around 5 hours, so we arrived at the hotel around 10.30. dropped the luggage, and then we're off to eurodisney!

    we started from frontierland, tadinya mo naek big thunder mountain, tp lg renovasi.. so we went on to adventureland, the "Indiana jones and the temple of perils"-ride (or Indiana Jones et le Temple du Péril).. lumayan for opening act :p

    habis dr situ anak2 pd laper, jd makan d "hakuna matata". i got myself le menu enfant for 6 euros n got hot dog, fries, aqua, n yoghurt drink. the others ate normal menu for 10 euros.. but with almost the same amount of food xD so guys next time when visiting eurodisney paris just get urself the children's menu :p (didnt get the surprise toy as promised by the poster though.. =[)

    then tk wantd to check out the adventure isle. after running around we continued to the pirates of the Caribbean ride. TK kept saying, "ulma ure gonna love this". yg udh pernah k sini cuma tk n penny. i forgot when was the last time tk went to eurodisney but for penny it's almost 10 years ago. emm so the PotC-ride was a boat cruise basically, with puppets and scenery of pirates attacking a fortress on the side.. the only exciting thing was when this pirate doll swung from one side to another and surprised tk as it passed his head (he shouted, "uiiii.." the whole trip we're making fun of tk n his over the top reactions :p). conclusion: u can pass this ride :p

    after that we went to the souvenir shop nearby coz i saw some nightmare bfore christmas stuff on the etalage (display window).. n bought a jack-beanie-key chain yg lg sale for 3 euros (yea im broke -.-).

    next stop was fantasyland, penny bought this cute minnie mouse ears, i saw curious labyrinth with characters from alice but nobody else wntd to go inside so was kinda sad :'(
    tk:"ulma we dont hv that much time, it took 2 hours to find the exit"

    reallllyyy....? it doesnt look that complicated =/

    but anyway, me penny n prima went to the mad hatter's tea party ride. me n penny's been practicing this for weeks using a round table at long pura xD

    next one was... SPACE MOUNTAIN: MISSION 2!! :D ngantrinya was around 35 minutes.. was so curious coz i can hear ppl screaming inside, n tk's promotion of course. n as we got closer to the ride i had this adrenaline-rush.. excited, curious, anxious,.. all that.. me n penny started to jump around impatiently.. during the trip me n penny were like the children, being excited, did not really care where we're going.. while prima n tk were like.. two dads xD well especially in paris, both kept arguing on the map, which line to take, which direction, bla bla bla.. while me n penny just dancing skipping around in the background ^3^

    so yea space mountain WAS AWESOME!! :D inside i was screaming all the time, both because of scared and excited ^3^ wooohooo! and here is where prima lost her voice xD
    abis space mountain we went to star tours.. not really exciting.. well funny though. flight simulation thingy inside a passenger-shuttle in a star wars movie. dgn pilot robot yg bego haha..

    n after that we went to the honey i shrunk the audience thingy. with 3d thingy. and prima penny tk shouted during the snake scene.. n when szalinski broke the neon lights..guys please.. -.-

    next stop was the shops at main street USA, where we bought key chains for ppl at LP, and prima also bought some stuffs for her bro. pgn beli2 jg tp tak ada uang T_T (saving money for food n cocktail). we had dinner @Planet Hollywood in Disney Village. I had this hearty american burger and a non-alcoholic cocktail, the rest had steaks n smoothies, hot chocolate for tk.

    tk looks very tired xD

    back to the hotel, checked in properly (hand-over room key, uh,.. magnetic card..), changed to bathing suit n jumpd into the jacuzzi :D the receptionist told us how to work with the equipments, the heating system, so that we could adjust the temperature or work it out on ourselves whenever there's a problem.. ~.^ so we had the whole fitness area for ourselves.. yay.. (not).. we couldnt heat the sauna so after 45 minutes in the jacuzzi we just gave up n went back to the receptionist guy. when he fixed the whole thing penny n tk were already tired so they went back to the room. me n prima used the sauna for 20 minutes.. n then we're done.. sweaty and feeling really light ^^ and set to conquer paris night life!!! :D

    before we left for paris i did a research :p on nice cocktail lounges, gathered them in a list n askd penny n tk to pick one (being the most chic n classy of us all :D). so they chose the bound bar. which was a good choice. it's located in george V so its in the centre. on the way there we got a nice view on the lights and grandeur of paris city scenery at night.. soooo prettyyyy... the last time i went to paris wasnt at night time so it was definitely something new for me. even penny fell under its spell :p tadinya dia yg udh males gt mo keluar :D bound bar looks very chic, and the next best thing was that it was free parking in that area from 7 pm.. yay :D musiknya jg enak. surprisingly they played indie rock stuff like modest mouse, gorillaz, padahal di depannya kesannya yg buddha-bar gt..

    all 4 of us ordered long drink premium cocktails, penny had vanilla sky (with vanilla skyy vodka n rum i think) prima n tk had punch bound (with rum n amaretto), n i had last kiss (rum n peach liquor). was quite a lot xD 20cl.. but for 16 eur.. yeah.. we finished our drinks at 12.30 am, went to take pics at the blue-lit eiffel tower, n then went home.

    wednesday 12th
    penny woke me up two times at night coz apparently i've been invading her sleeping space (yes i kicked her and i think slap her in the face or something xD).. while tk n prima snored in unison.. lol.. this is the day where we went to paris-centre. penny craved for "special" ugg shoes.. but UNFORTUNATELY there were NO ugg stores, or stores that sell ugg boots in paris xD she saw many rip-offs but no real ugg's.. xD lol.. poor penny.
    so what we did this day was.. lunching at Mc Donald's "hamburger restaurant" (even KFC was a restaurant there) me prima n tk had Le M, and .. uh wait.. i just went to the ugg website.. n there WERE ugg shoes retailer xD penny's gonna cry when she found out about this xD poor girl.. oh yea.. lunch, penny was having chicken wings n a very sweet chocolate mousse. later on she bought oreo swirl (which we dont hv anymore in holland -.-) with caramel sauce.. yumm.. btw toilets in paris are horrible -.- ppl here are so chic but soooo dirty..

    uh yea, after mcdonald's we went to sephora (no we dont hv that either in holland, not fair!), n to the marvelous galeries la fayette.. full with beautiful things n so expensive xD we went to the louis vuitton store coz tk was looking for a wallet (wallets there cost 200 euro n above -.-) n guess what.. 80% ppl in there were chinese :p me n penny were outside the store looking inside through the glass window.. we felt like being in a museum n looking at population specimen or something titled "Chinese shopping at LV, Paris". Then prima told us this story about the time she went to champ elysees n some chinese person wanted to pay her to get into LV store n bought several things since the person already bought a lot of stuff and was not allowed to get in.. umm yea of course french high-end brands are cheaper here. (seperti yg dijelaskan oleh mbak2 LV who mentiond a couple of brands such as 'christian dior', she pronounced it in a french way we didnt get it after a couple of secs that it was 'christian dior' she was talking about) so those chinese bought a lot of stuff to sell it again outside.

    n then we went to starbucks, where tk treated us for some coffee.. more walking2.. tk found a cheap two-suit for 80 euros, penny still didnt get her boots, but bought a pair of pastry shoes. candylicious sport shoes from mtv's angela and vanessa (NOOO CLUE WHO THEY ARE! *google* ohh.. anak2nya rev. simmons aka run dmc -.- ). me n prima tired from window shopping.. 5.30 we set to find a nice place to hv dinner. more walking2, then we found this place called 'le amazonia' yg maksudnya mo gaya amazon2 gt tapi musiknya ga matching -.-.. makananny jg standard european.. enak sih. tk had salmon salad as starter n a red tuna steak, prima had goat cheese salad, n also the steak. i ate eglefin (white fish), with rice, penny risotto with king prawns. stayed there till 7.30 aannddd.. we're off back to holland..

    sampe belanda lagi jam 1 malem... annndd that concludes our trip!! :D

    gile capek.. i think i workd on this post for two hours or something -.- for those of you who really2 read it from the start till the end.. i congratulate thee.. dont u hv anything better to do? :p

    thank you penny for making this happen :D the whole trip was her idea n she covered my accommodation expenses ^^.. thanks tk for driving us.. thanks prima for the jokes and laughters, thank God of course for everything n for the nice weather.. despite gloomy weather forecast, tuesday we had sunshine the whole day, and as the car drove out from the parking lot, it started to rain HARD, but stopped again at night just in time for our soiree ^^

    hari pahlawan =D

    *ngeliat status message-nya nia*
    didnt realise its today
    didnt find anythin special on the news regarding this as well
    thursday i saw RocknRolla n QoS.. RnR was really cool xD wanna watch em again.. downloaded their soundtrack today.
    QoS is so so..
    friday was work
    saturday went to HAFF n saw Tale of Desperaux.. but yea it was work in progress, so we were only shown some clips from the movie n then there's two people from the studio to explain the storyline n background and answer q's from the audience. most of the ppl who came were artsy-type of ppl with asymmetric haircut, neon colors, funky clothes..
    i forgot my key so i slept at elvin's place till..
    jaga rumah elvin while she n andi did groceries for their dinner party.
    then when they got home i left to the city, bought milk foam-maker for cappuccino. i broke one last night. felt guilty.
    rencananya mo ke kota beli raincoat, cari cocktail dress, snacks for tomorrow's 5-hours trip to eurodisney.
    tapi malah ngutak ngatik tumblr..
    blm mandi :p
    pgn makan lagi =/
    n listening to the sunshine underground - the way it is

    johnny quid rocks <3

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *screams hysterically but profoundly happy and excited at the same time*

    quadruple post yay :p

    I present to you.. *drum rolls*

    The Tale of Desperaux

    please please watch the trailer here
    awal2nya u'd feel like its ratatouille thingy.. but but.. exactly at 00.58 .. i cant help myself not to screaaaaammmmmmm with joy ^________________^

    premiere d US emg bakal masi lama, 19 December.. wouldnt get to Dutch theatre before new year i guess.. (according to IMDB it wont b released in NL before 2 april 09.. buset lama amat -.-)


    Di Holland Animation Film Festival udah maenn dooongggg!! YIPPPEEEEEE *jump around like crazy* AHAHAHAHA IM SO GONNA WATCH IT!!!! LONG PURA I WANT MY DAY OFF!!! yah baru "work in progress" sih title-nya.. i dunno wot dat means.. but.. yeah.. wat de hell i still want to watch it T_T padahal udah libur 3 hari gitu minggu ini.. hihihi *sigh* oh i hope they're gonna let me take a day off.. soalnya ga maen d hari yg laen T_T

    "just for a second, just try.. being brave"

    (adding the tale of despereaux to wanna-c movie list together with HP, Coraline, watchmen, rocknrolla, quantum of solace - premiering at the night of nov 6th at 00.07 - n the spirit)

    by the by, went to ABC today n bought a pocket-size moleskine diary+notebook 2009 for mum (i bought a large one for dad n then mum want one as well), watchmen graphic novel n ball's critical mass (elvin pointed out the author's rather ahum.. unique last name.. i didnt even notice.. oh elvin u dirty dirty girl.. :p)

    beli watchmen soalnya kan entar mo nonton filmnya, so why not read the novel first.. and the critical mass book? well i was browsing the social science section n thinking of buying one.. n then i just started to browse in author's alphabetical order.. saw the book, read the description.. dan sepertinya cool.. applying physics, mathematical science to social behaviour n politics. my head's so empty these days i need knowledge replenishment :p

    tadinya sih di tangan jg udh bawa Q magazine edisi December 08, Transformers Evolution (lg on sale), n Aravind Adiga's White Tiger.. tp it will certainly blow off my budget (padahal k sana jg impulsif gt..). ya udah akhirnya i bode farewell to transformers, the magazine, n the white tiger..

    dannn besok siang mo liat rocknrolla sama mba prima ^^

    oh n happy burthday jonny g ^^

    RIP Michael Crichton

    He's my hero that introduced me to sci-fi and dinosaurs via jurassic park T_T (love both the movie n the novel, the novel more)
    im sorry i said bad things about u n "state of fear"
    thx for ER, andromeda strain, sphere, timeline n all of ur work..
    i didnt even know u had cancer T_T

    Michael Crichton, the million-selling author who made scientific research terrifying and irresistible in such thrillers as "Jurassic Park," "Timeline" and "The Andromeda Strain," has died of cancer, his family said. Crichton died Tuesday in Los Angeles at age 66 after privately battling cancer.

     blog it

    comply with the masses

    to follow the spirit of the rest of the world.. congrats obama..
    n the media will talk about you for daaayyssss
    lets see some changes that you promised. oh yeah, you are one already: the first african-american president
    small obama image
     blog it

    strange night..

    it was after midnight, i was alone in my room, prima's gone to rotterdam to visit mr. boyfriend.
    i didnt have anything to do.. so this is what i did:
  • txtd my bf that i secretly like another guy
  • txtd the other guy (who's currently w/ his gf) that i love him n im sorry but im staying away from his life
  • txtd my ex n told him that the real reason we broke up was not bcoz i was in love with another guy but i just realised that i didnt love him that much

    and the result waasss total revelation :D i feel strangely relieved..
    myb bcoz today's election day
    myb bcoz today's my dad's birthday
    myb bcoz today's my ex's dad's birthday
    myb bcoz its our 3 months anniversary
    myb bcoz its waxing crescent n 39% of full o_O
    myb bcoz after 46 pages of mark haddon's the curious incident of the dog in the night time i seriously think that its not as good as they say. n myb im the only one saying this but i wasnt "moved" or intrigued to read the rest of the book.
  • one of the things that help me get through the day

    my bro is so cool n hv a funny way when it comes to expressing his feelings qua words

    i miss my family..

    and btw, speaking of schmancy labels - I have to admit it is one scary terms to say! why is it one scary terms to say? because it is one scary terms to say - what on earth does schmancy mean neway :D? sort of berbau a scheme? like conspiracy? Ooh cool cuz I love the word - we are indeed living in one big conspiracy!

    Happy Burpday, Daaaaad *yaay yeepee make a wish blow the candle then burp berjamaah dalam nada c mayor 3/4*!

    Mudah2an Ayah semakin menjadi figur ayah yang kian dicintai diridhai dikaruniai disayangi dan beragam kata positip di-berakhiran-i lg oleh Allah SWT dan keluarga tercinta yang cantik2 dan cakep2 nan pintar2 nan jelita nan belia, terutama yg cowok yg paling gede itu tuh yang ganteng abis trus pake kacamata trus banyak yg bilang kayak Afgan getohchkhuekhuekcuh *sigh* Gosh I'm so definitely gonna kill that impostor >:(

    kiss kiss hug hug kiss kiss group hug fall asleep drool

    when does it start to loose its meaning?

    I Love You.

    I Love You.
    I swear I do.

    Although my thoughts constantly rejects you.
    Although my conscience keep yelling,
    "Oh this is wrong! This is so wrong!!"

    I Love You.
    I do!

    And of course,
    of course I want to marry you!
    You'll be happy,
    who cares if I'll be blue?

    I Love You.
    I really do..

    or at least I am trying to.

    something that shewrote but hesitate to post :p

    sumtimes u say it like ure just reading from a text
    sumtimes u really want to say it but u know ur heart will break from the moment those words escape from your lips
    coz u cant handle the consequences and that it might hurt you more than u can imagine

    oh.. n lookie lookie here what i've found:

    they also hv a list randomizer. mine look sumthin like this xD i think it can help me with my list of priorities.. lol..

    True Random Number Service

    List Randomizer

    There were 3 items in your list. Here they are in random order:

    1. get married

    2. get a masters degree

    3. hv children

    Timestamp: 2008-10-29 13:11:40 UTC


    a dr. phil moment..

    talk about what ppl want in their life.. i for example, am always unsure xD

    i cant think about myself, what i want, coz i will always add other ppl to the equation. and when there's nobody else to think about besides myself, for example, should i go to holland after high school, or stay? i'd leave the decision to "the condition, to momentum". so at that time, "if i passed all the test i'd go", so it wasnt about, "do i want it?" :p well yea of course i wanted the adventure, but.. apparently it's spposed to b more than that xD
    and choosing which major, i still kinda regret why i didn't go for IT instead :p

    but.. anyway,

    not be able to think for myself has made me a person who:
    -cant say no
    -make promises that i cant keep
    -is very uhm.. indecisive. thats why i suck at decision making, thats why i prefer to flip coins.. if only every decisions can be made as easy as flipping coins xD unfortunately most of the time there's more than two options n ppl wont accept the reason "the coin said so". (see im thinking about other ppl again). i also oftenly changed my decision in a snap just bcoz other ppl said differently.

    -screwed list of priority. coz instead of working out things thats important for me first, i'd tend to work on/think about what might b important for othr ppl.

    so me n prima talkd about this yesterday, and the cousin of hers yg know exactly what she wants, and sticks to it and be happy although her parents (her mum) disapproved in the beginning and gave her a hard time. but it just came thru in the end, and she's happy. oh how i wish i can be like that.

    prima also pointed out the fact that i dont know what i want. the recent example of course when i bought a one way ticket to indonesia only to change it to retour the week after. as my brain lookd for possible reason why im being so indecisive, i said to her that "its because as a kid i nvr made decisions for myself, my family moved around, n im always in the condition where everything has been arranged for me".

    annnnd then prima said, in short, "get a life.. dont blame ur past, u can always blame ur past for the rest of your life, do you want to stay that way?" - yeah but of course she didnt come out with that on her own. guess where she heard it... OPRAH hahah..

    well anyway, thats true.. i really hv to work on this.. umm indecisiveness.. the problem is, when i try to think again, what i want.. well i always think that most ppl dont know what they want. what they want might not be good for them while what they dont want might actually hv been better. plus this miswanting paper iko gave me.. hahah.. just highlighted that. so the authors coined the phrase ‘miswanting’ which they defined as the condition when wanting and liking are uncoordinated in a way such that when finally getting what u want, u realised that u dont like it. (hereby the term "be careful what u wished for" can be applied :p)

    So their conclusion was:
    1. Want is susceptible to error
    2. Even when people could predict how much they would like something when it happened, they still cant predict how it would affect them in the long run.

    because we might misunderstood events, misunderstood ourselves, and misinterpret the feelings.
    because happiness is actually influenced by a lot of other stuffs, and its just impossible to think about all of these other stuffs.

    but anyhow, i think those wont apply to ppl who really2 understand themselves..

    my dad said something along the line of: that although most of the time ppl dont know what they want. praying and therefore clearing our conscience and asking for His guidance helped coz He gave us brains and with a clear mind we could "hear" Him

    elvin said: its a matter of expectation management (gee hv to look that up)


    satu jam yg lalu.. 2 am
    dan sekarang .. masih 2 am xD (thanks to automated dst changing pc n mobile phone clocks.. jd ga perlu cape2 mundurin jam)

    yea thanks to daylight savings time ppl can sleep an hour longer.. :D
    or for ppl who werent asleep yet, it felt like the time stopped o_O


    Dear .,

    the truth is, i don't know if any of these is love

    but i guess we could still get married
    i promise I'll learn how to love you
    i could also promise to think of things other than how to love you
    be a good wife, do the house chores, etc.

    nobody needs butterflies in their stomach rite?

    (imagining conversation with God)

    "Tuhan saya menikah karena mencari pahala."
    "Tentu boleh"
    "I dont know if I ever gonna be happy"
    "You'll be happy in my paradise *big grin*"
    "And that is the only thing that matters right?"

    no seriously?
    cant u just do other things?

    day the fourth

    so here i am, typing in the dark with my hi-tech sister's laptop
    its 1.19 am n everybody's asleep
    i was asleep as well until a weird dream woke me up and now i just cant go back to sleep -.-
    probably its the hazelnut latte

    so im entering my fourth day in Jakarta, umm.. nea not really coz technically my SQ954 flight landed at 9.40 am last Monday, so... now is like my 3 days, 15 hours and 20 minutes :P

    stupid calculations aside..

    im glad that jakarta is still warm and humid :D 30 degrees most of the time. compared to the country i left behind, 13 degrees :p plus wind and cloud and rain.. hihihi..

    i finally got to see my finished house. last time i went home was march 2007 and it wasnt done yet.

    my sisters n bros are wonderful :D well i only see wasi, layina and rawdy since bil's still stuck with univ. stuff. he'll b here tomorrow, Gw. and dad's also still stuck with his work, baru bs dateng tgl 22 T_T

    wasi has grown into this tall, fashion-aware but not fashion-wannabe girl :D she loves reading, which im very glad of ^^ she also already kinda developed her own character. she knows what she likes and dislikes n stand for them. im still lost until now :p

    layina is the high-tech girl. amiably navigating her nokia communicator (i still have nooo clue how that thing works). she uses opera for browsing, instead of IE :P or firefox :P xD (myb i should ask her to try chrome) she's content in her own nerdy aura.. i mean, she doesnt hv this low self-confidence. we were in this ibu2 gathering last night, and she's not the shy girl who waited till somebody came n talk to her. she could casually start conversations with the other kids. oh yea, she's also humas di OSIS :D at her age, i was trying hard to fly below the radar :P which continued until my college-days :p

    rawdy... is this very active boy. he's thinner than a year ago. with longer hair xD proud bearer of yellow belt in tae kwon do, loved the lego racers toy i bought for him. it has this ramp with road obstacles that was meant to be crashed -.- i mean,.. wth.. why would u build something only to destroy it? but iko said that its normal for boys to destroy things.. uh-huh..

    im plnning to post some pics as well, but couldnt since the battery of my camera is low. but i already found two weird indonesianized foreign food: one is a hot-dog croissant with SAMBAL sauce. altho the croissant's very good.. surprisingly buttery and has crispy flakey texture.
    and rolled lasagna.. which is shaped like a lumpia. maybe they should change the name to italian springroll or something. also eaten with sambal sauce xD

    annddd people are still trying their hardest in making money -.- im so mad when our house got calls from insurance/travel agents.. offering stuff... Geez.. since whennnn???? its like those news i read of what happend in the States where ppl complaind about privacy intrusion whnver they got calls from ppl like that. im not sure if indonesia/jakarta already has special privacy-protection offices for these kinds of things. plus those annoying sales people -.- theyre everywhere -.- in the mall, (of course), in the restaurant, drug store... cant believe that most drug/multivitamin brands in a drug store has their own sales person (most of them female).

    me n mum went to guardian (a drug store, like kruidvat or etos in NL) 2 days ago, at first i wasnt really aware of these mbak2 crowding at the vitamin section. i thought they're all employees at the mall and they just like having casual chit-chats like they do all day anyway. oh yeah.. i noticed that most stores/commercial places are over-employed.. but considering that this country has lots n lots of ppl anyway.. i guess its a good (temporary) solution for the large availability of human power. why temporary? cozzz... most of the time over-employed >> low-efficiency... annnddd probably those ppl werent paid as much as the minimum standard wage.

    anyway, back to the story, apparently those mbak2 are sales rep for different multivitamin brands. u know that there's a lot of brands right? so there were like 6 or 7 of them.. trying to sell vitamin C n stuff to my mum -.- i was surprised.. coz what i expectd was a drugstore employee that can give advices to my mum about the right type of vitamin or supplement, not 6 or 7 sales people harrassing her -___________-

    so in the end mum overspent on 90 tablets multivitamin and 60 vitamin C bear gummies. *sigh*. why overspent? coz tadinya mum cuma mo beli vit. c buat layina. she bought one, paid for it, but then i checked it n turnd out that they were chew-tablets, which layina doesnt like. so she had to go back n return it, but apparently she could only exchange it for another product from the same brand. that brand did not have normal vitamin c tablets, the one that u just swallow with water. so instead, mum exchanged it with the 90 tablets multivitamin, which costed twice as much as the vitamin c -.-

    but she still need vitamin c.. emm so another mbak2 came and offered the gummy bear vitamins: "also contains echinaea which boosts child's immunity" (yea whatev.. we only need vit.c).. so there you go..

    howeva, i still somehow find little blessings during these last three humid days. most of them were from the smaller kids, friends of my sis n bros, they are still happy and playful, sunshine and optimism in their faces. i mean, as long i can see happy kids playing, the world hasnt gone that bad yet xD oh and the food.. food in indonesia are still the best.. yea and the hospitality, either made-ups, addressed to the money inside your wallet/bank account; or just plain sincere from the heart.

    and yea, i still think that moslems in indonesia still need to learn about true tolerance. instead of shouting for more islamitised system (for example), but think about people from other religions/beliefs. we were never a secular country, and only because most of us has islam written down in our ID, doesnt mean that this country is reserved for moslems only. i dont want to see this country become a country of hypochrites (still disagree with the ppl doing razia n got angry when a club/pub is open during Ramadhan). (ardho has a post on this but im too lazy to look it up ;P)

    will edit this post as soon as i can make some time ;p


    sweaty me.

    i'm a parquin

    coz i like to stay in a corner and deny my own existence xD (self-loathe mode on)
     blog it

    17 agustus..

    17th august 2008, 4.38 am
    63 years of independence
    the country's still struggling
    common people torn by political groups
    the old generation struggling to know what's inside the young generation's mind
    love is on sale, love is forbidden
    family eats you, family keeps you alive
    how long has it been like this?
    and as the Holy Scripture says, "...Thus, God does not change the condition of any people unless they themselves make the decision to change..." (13:11)

    somebody here nursing her nettle-stung left hand
    stomach acid churning, gastric anomalies
    somebody here still sleeping
    putting aside her worries temporarily
    somebody there is hungry
    probably will stay hungry for the next couple of hours
    somebody else is speculating
    reasoning with lies, hopes, and concerns
    a mother creating
    a boy playing
    a father repairing
    a girl crying

    1 am song

    an attempt to write the lyrics of a waffled song :p
    featuring motionstudy's love by wire :D

    the italics are the words that i heard n underneath is how it is supposed to sound like :p

    you're the rainbow lines i wait and (weep?)
    in my white (time?)
    you're the status i always (thought if?)
    in my facebook (find?)

    you're the rainbow lines i wait and read
    in my YM times
    you're the status i always notice
    in my facebook times

    you're the girl i saw on youtube
    oh yeah you're so cute
    you're the (completely waffled) at (3 am?)
    and for (waffled)

    you're the voice i hear at
    and from my itunes

    you're my 16-hours flight girl
    the one i have to fight for
    the missing link i tried to find
    forever wishing (?)

    for evolution

    you're the (twist ?) of the logic
    in my formula
    you're the dot and i am (line?)
    in love by wire

    you're the sweetheart of the logic
    in my formula
    you're the dot and i am stripes
    in love by wire

    you are thom and i am yorke
    and sing very well
    you watch flashing arm laptop (????? xD)
    we rock together

    you are Slash and I'm Les Paul

    you are my bean and i am your gene (?)
    we storm (?) together, together..
    and if you're a mouse, shall i be your pad?(totally love this part :D)
    i love to be with you
    be with you..

    you are my D and i am your G
    we strum together, together..

    if its all wrong
    but i dont know i (misery?) now
    forgive me for im wrong
    but i know that i love you somehow
    if its all wrong
    but i dont know how it should be right (???)
    forgive me for im wrong
    but i know that i love you somehow

    if these are wrong
    well i dont know how it should be now
    forgive me for i'm lost
    but i know that i love you somehow
    if these are wrong
    well i dont know how it should be now
    forgive me for i'm lost
    but i know that i love you somehow

    conclusion: saya budeg, n he mumbles :p

    menonton Dark Knight

    jd kmrn akhirny nonton Dark Knight.. the movie that is currently still #1 at IMDb's top 250 (ngalahin film2 kawakan sperti shawsank redemption, the godfather.. xD)

    hari jumat rencananya kita udh mo rserve tiket lewat internet, takut keabisan, tp trnyt ga bs reserve :p

    jadi saturday morning (well.. 9 am) elvin nelp., bilang klo harbud otw k pathe arena mo beli tiket saat itu jg. at that time, tiket yg tersedia cuma tinggal 29 -.- omiGosh.. dan itu buat film yg tayang jam 7! yg jam sebelum2ny udh sold out -.- buset dah..

    jam 6 ngumpul d pathe, .. bo orang2 udh banyak banget -.-

    sekitar 6.15 pm di depan pintu masuk a line was already formed .. so we stood sekitar 35-40 menit.. (ngobrol2 sama Samit, colleaguenya elvin d tom tom..) sebelum orang2 boleh masuk (masuk as in ngasi liat tiket dan berjalan ke arah studio .. in dark knight's case, ran xD :p)

    anak2 langsung lari ke atas (studio IMAX di atas), menaiki anak tangga2, balapan sama berpuluh2 org belanda (padahal ya ada eskalator) :p dan begitu nyampe di atas.. eng ing eng.. pintu studionya blm dibuka -.- WTF???!!! kita pun ngantri lagi xD

    mendekati pukul 7 orang2 sudah mulai gelisah.. we sensed a riot was about to come xD ya amponnn dah kyk mo nonton apaan ajaaaa!!

    annd finally jam 7 lewat 5 or 10 pintunya dibuka, people pushed, n pushed.. d depan pintu teaternya ternyata ada yg meriksa karcis lg xD but anak2 langsung nyerobot2 saja :p and.. luckily we got good seats :D

    begitu keluar dr teaternya, i saw that a crowd already formed again di void-nya pathe xD loossaaaahhhh gw udh nonton weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :P :P :P

    Dark Knight keren.. like all of 'em said.. :D i felt like i wanted to cry by the end of the movie T_T terharu..