April 17, 2007
It’s time to talk shop.
Achilles heel n. Your weakness for pretending to fit into the last pair of size-six boots when you’re really an eight.
ample sale n. A sale that consists of pieces in only ginormous or miniscule sizes.
disdress n. The agony caused by having to strip in communal dressing rooms at sample sales.
dressausage n. A girl who has squeezed herself into a dress that is way too small for her. dressing tomb n. The physics-defying, one-square-foot room in which you’re expected to remove your pants.
fabric-ation n. The involuntary impulse to lie when the salesgirl asks what size you are.
fearors n. Dreaded dressing room mirrors that show every last flaw on your body.
insomnishopia n. A disorder marked by making unnecessary online purchases in the wee hours due to insomnia.
reflection period n. The time spent contemplating whether you’re being tricked by skinny mirrors and soft filter lighting.
riptag n. A last-minute purchase that you wear out of the store.
unmodestmouse n. A naggy salesperson who pulls the curtain back while you’re changing.