the day i blew my fuse

TODAY I FEEL SO ANGRY!
SO SILLY!
SO STUPID!!

why do i have to be unstable?
i'm okay basically
i just blew out my fuse
i think i'm going mad as i reach tomorrow

i cant wait to see my friend
i just need some other human being to talk to
i dont want to go online
because i need a real person
and that boyfriend of mine is very totally unavailable right now!!!

mybe he hate me after this
and he'll break up with me
uh-oh there goes my negative thoughts again
if i kept on thinking like that, he WILL
DO YOU WANT HIM TO GO?
NO!
BUT THIS OTHER BRAIN-SIDE OF MINE TOLD ME THAT MAYBE YOU SHOULD LET HIM GO AGES AGO!!
GOD I REALLY NEED HELP :'(
For the kind of person who believe nothing than the Might of God u r pretty pathetic!! i know .. i'm sorry.. i dont even keep my words anymore!!!
what i should do:
bikin list
flyer
foto
TUGAS!! YA AMPOWNNNN!!!!!

FIRE EMBLEM N FFTA are so fucking addictive
gw masih penasaran
man tp itu kan ga penting banget!!
come on...
dont u ever feel the sense of responsibility?
the holy 'R' word?????

n now i need some sleep
i need something self-destructive
n so far i eat
if u dont start loving urself, how can other people love you?
no i'm still learning..
i appreciate those who unconditionally gave their love to me
but i'm sorry i cant love myself!
not right now..
i'm so fucking pathetic
i am now even confused should i be happy, mad, or sad?
should it be the mixture of those three?

writing should help, they say..
i think that those help are the kinds of writings that is self-doctrinizing..
if i wrote i'm okay a couple hundred of time maybe i will really be okay.
u know, mind work at sun-conscious level?
now who the fuck will give a damn about that?