I feel like I'm a 9 year-old girl trapped in a 21 year-old female body

A couple of days ago I was on my way to school, sitting inside the 53 metro at the very back. Nothing seems to be wrong then, except that I was the only Asian girl surrounded by 5 afro-surinamese and 1 Turkish teenage boys.. (berondong =9~) *eugh ulma, stop it -.-"

Those boys were like the miniature version of my stereotype of afro-surinamese (n some of the turkish) people. Covered in blings and all had this hip-hop/rap clothings, one kid even got a gold teeth (or brass.. i wasnt sure.. it was yellow n shiny.. spray paint myb? i dunno :p)
all boys got one or two pieces of "bling" earring (yo.. im pimpin my hommies..).. like i said bfore, a miniature version of the adults one. with braided hair, ada juga yg culry-wurly ngembang lucu gtu.. ada yang alisnya udh dicukur in a way that he had a garis putus2 eyebrow instead of one full line..

anyway, these boys were about 12-14 year-old (ABG..ABG..) n pas mreka duduk tu mreka ngobrol2 gtu. The conversation flow (translated to Bahasa)kinda went like this (nama yang digunakan bukan nama asli, red.):
alis putus2: eh tu cewe cantik (nunjuk ke luar metro)
anak curly-wurly: engga ah, kakaknya si "anak turki" tu lebih cantik
anak turki: (mesem2 smbil gigit2 kuku) --> gaya boleh bling bling tp tetep aja mereka anak kecil ^^
... (i missed this part of their conversation, coz i was concentrating on how to be invisible :p its hard, so i went back on listening) ...
ACW: (ngomong ke anak yg lain) Eh, kamu kan udah 16, udah dianggep dewasa dong, udah boleh ngapa2in
16 tahun: enggaaak... umur 16 tu masih dianggap baby, gw suka diejekin ma oom gw "alaah.. masih 16.. masih pake popok tuu.."
ACW: tp kan udh boleh beli alkohol2 gtu
16T: ya iya..
Alis putus-putus: berapa sih umur dewasa? 18 ya? ya kmu bentar lagi juga udah dewasa dong..
16T: gak juga.. yg dianggep dewasa tu umur 21.. gini lho, umur 18 tu, kmu udh boleh tinggal di luar, tinggal sendiri, tapi sebelum kmu umur 21, kmu tu belum dianggap dewasa, blm punya kuasa bener2 buat bikin keputusan sendiri
anak2 yg laen: (mengangguk2)

right apter that, the metro stopped at 'Verrijn Stuartweg', my stop so i got off from my bench n walkd outside. While i was walking i think about what those boys were talking.. gee.. i am 21.. udh harus sgitu zelf-standignya kah? cant i still rely on my parents? well ya, even so, with the life im having now, i rarely consultd my parents for my actions (except that decission on what should i do by the end of this term).

i also realized, just the day bfore, that i still acted like a small-kid. still want to run-away from problems, still be easily 'ngambek' or got hurt, feel mad when i couldnt get what i want, or if my plan didnt work out. suka sedih n take it veeerry personal kl dimarahin ato dikritik, (for stuffs that i thought i did my best at) even when i tried to be cool about it. still hv this high ego (i hvnt talkd with one of my housemates for weeks.. mostly coz im rarely at home now, dan kl gw d rumah pun dia ga pernah negor gw.. ya udh, gw juga males negor dia). still do stupid things n pretend that i hadnt known it was stupid :p

as i said to nie' n my bf, i think mentally, im not 21.. i dont feel like an adult, at all.. well the most bothering part is that, some part of me still want to be spoiled, still want ppl to obey me (n i tried hard to supress this one),and still does not want to take full-responsibility of anything.. i practically always try to run-away from that R word.

So yeah, i still hv to do a lot of "growing-up" ..gee, i hope He would help me..


on other topic, i just read this on national geographic:
klinci raksasa menyerang UK (kinda like wallace n grommit's new movie :D)
see the pic? gilee.. gede yah :S freaky de.. freaky.. trus knp itu tlinga cuma satu ya?
sayang klincinya msti dibunuh.. soalnya he's wrecking the plants and gardens of ppl there.. click here for the complete story.

dan sayangkuuu... maafkan aku yang telah mengganggumu..
tapi ku tak bisa tidur semalammm..
what i need was a good warm hug :p

-sekian-